Enraptured by Life...

SOPA Rant - Guest Writer Jillian Schaffner Age 15

2012-01-20T14:36:00.000-08:00

Today I opened up my Facebook® page to see a post on one of my friends’ statuses. “Maybe SOPA is just to get young adults interested in politics?” Maybe they’re right, but I don’t think that they are. You see cigarette and tobacco companies are sneakier than the government in one way; they target a younger crowd. If a tobacco company can get a teenager hooked then they have most likely just promised themselves another life long customer. The government could use this to their advantage with even better results, because voting will never be anyone’s cause of death.

Why would any Politician support a bill that will set an ENTIRE generation against them? Like everyone else my age, I have never lived without instant communication. It is all that we know. I can be in contact with every friend I have no matter where they live and all at once. The entire Wikipedia® website had a blackout for a full day to show that they are against SOPA. GOOGLE® blacked out its logo. Maybe there are people whom this will directly harm, but there are more people that are enraged by just the idea of SOPA and PIPA. I don’t know everything about the law, but to think that it can allow one country to make laws that affect billions of people all over the globe is unbelievable to me.

My best friend’s littlest sister is four years old and she has Down’s Syndrome. This little girl is currently in playschool, but reads at a grade two level. Her parents would never have been able to help her as much as they have without the help they found on the Internet. Neither would they have been able to help so many others through blogs and facebook and email. This family has two iPads in their household, as well as three iPods, an iPhone, and multiple computers. Do you know what we put on these devices?

Apps.

Applications created by people for people. This little girl has countless apps on her family’s devices that help her to read, write, count, and learn. How can anyone want to make a law to stop her from learning this way?

If SOPA is passed she will no longer have access to apps from the USA, and if Bill C-11 in Canada is passed, anywhere else. Anyone can make an app, because that is the world that we live in. In this world we can have a thousand channels and get magazines online. We can make anything we want, because we can find the facts online. Just because the media wants to make money and they are scared that just about anyone can publish themselves is NO reason to pass a bill. How many of these politicians use GOOGLE®, Wikipedia®, YAHoo®, or any others. On Twitter® you can even follow politicians that you are interested in. Why would they want this to end?

When I was at camp last summer and at the end of the week, everyone shares their contact information. When one of the girls asked if anybody had Facebook®, the entire group laughed and rolled their eyes. Of course we do.

My Social Studies textbook states that North American countries pride themselves on having free trade and good relations.

How can we have free trade of goods but not information?

...Jillian

Jillian with her brother Max before a gig in December.

Recommendations and Reviews

2012-01-18T14:13:00.000-08:00

When my mama discovered that she was dying sooner than later, it was her choice to die at home. Between the Palliative Care Nurses and my dad as her caregivers, we were able to honour this. From the time that we took her out of the hospital and settled her into her bed at home, she had only a couple of weeks left. Not long after my mom had died and her funeral had taken place and I had my dad relatively established with his new life, I returned home to my family. A friend’s mother, out of the goodness of her heart, suggested that I watch the movie The Notebook, with James Garner. I am a voracious reader but could not bring myself to doing so. I could, however, sit and watch the occasional movie. I cannot tell you how upsetting that movie was. I will never read the book nor watch the movie again. Not because it was/is terrible, but because of the timing with my emotional state that was off. Since then, I have been very careful about recommending movies or books to anyone.

I do, however, still like to read recommendations and reviews, because it helps me to see my common interest, at certain times, with other people. My very good friend Elaine has recommended some of the best books that I have ever read. She reads way more than I do and even though we are miles apart, I still manage to read a few of her suggestions. The first book that Elaine ever recommended I read was, The Children of Men by PD James. I was not a mystery reader and had never read any of James’ work. This book, she assured me was not a mystery. The year was 1991 and I was a single carefree twenty-nine year old while Elaine was a mother of two and about ten years older than I. What could we possibly have in common with regard to reading? Isn’t that the wonderful thing about literature though? Books cross all ages and time, even cultures. I found The Children of Men captivating and from then on, accepted many of the books that Elaine suggested.

Later, I was raising my own two babies and Elaine had teens when she queried why I had never read a John Irving and told me that I might like A Widow For One Year. Even though I threw the book across my living room when I was finished it, I loved the book. I was just so mad at the mother in the story. When I told Elaine what I had done, she just laughed and laughed.

One time while having a face to face visit with Elaine, at her home, her husband Craig expressed the notion that he thought movie reviews were a waste of time and what one person likes and another doesn’t just didn’t compute with him. Elaine and I laughed and I couldn’t come up with a good argument as to why I liked them. What I do think, is that he is absolutely correct, but what a book or movie review does do, is give me a little snippet of information into the content as well as a connection to someone else who feels the way I do about a certain work. If you and I both like eat, pray, love by Elizabeth Gilbert, we know a little bit about each other.

On this cold wintery day, and from my rural home that seems in the middle of nowhere at times, I am reading a nonfiction and another very scholarly work and yearn to lose myself, or maybe find myself, in yet another read and so I turn to a conversation that I had with Elaine on Twitter® a couple of days ago, and head to the online library to download yet another captivating read. Will it be The Sense of an Ending by Julian Barnes or The Marriage Plot by Jeffery Eugenedies? Probably both.

As always, thanks @PRLDelaineap.

…Ellyn

There are so many colors in a rainbow...

2012-01-16T13:04:00.000-08:00

“Flowers are red young man
Green leaves are green
There's no need to see flowers any other way
Than the way they always have been seen.”

I was thirteen years old when I was lying on my mom’s bed talking to her while she folded laundry, when she said that she wanted me to listen to a certain song. I sat up and was totally captivated. She told me that she knew that all of our relatives and friends wanted me to do something very exciting in this world because I was so vibrant and dynamic, but that she had always seen the teacher in me and wondered if maybe I might head in that direction. I rarely thought about that incident until I actually began teaching and now with twenty-one years of teaching experience and as a parent of two teens, I think of it often, and, I think of teaching and parenting as being vibrant and dynamic. Those words of the great Harry Chapin, have played a huge role in my life as a teacher, as a parent and as a human being and I am thankful that my mom was my first mentor.

There were several times throughout my teaching career when I knew that if I perished the next day, I would have accomplished something great, only to carry on and think that I hope I do not perish the next day, as I have much more to accomplish. And I did...

Every area of my life is filled with reflective thought and my teaching practises were no different, neither is my parenting life. As an educator, I chose to file my plan books every year and only look to them for reflective purposes. I always liked to think about what worked and what did not. Every couple of years I would toss the plan books entirely so as not to look back. I feel that this practice helped me to internalize much of what I did, as well as what I know, as a teacher, but as a parent? I am in continual reflection, for I believe that …

“There are so many colors in the rainbow
So many colors in the morning sun
So many colors in the flower and I see every one”

...Ellyn

Harry Chapin. (1978). Flowers are Red. Living Room Suite [CD]. New York, NY: Elektra Records.

Mmm… I love Running

2012-01-05T13:22:00.000-08:00

I have been running for about eight years now. At least I think it has been eight years. I would actually have to sit down and calculate it because it is such a part of who I am, that I just know, I am runner.

I have only ever run faster and further than I should have, once, with a friend, and I think that is why I have never been injured. However, the other phenomenon is that I have never been bored or tired of it. When I first began running, I entered in a few races but quickly discovered that I have no desire to compete, better my time nor change my distance. I am happy to run in order to raise awareness or money for a cause, but mostly, I just love running.

Along with my two Golden Retrievers, I run out of my door on this country road that I live on, no more than 4-5 km at a time. I run everyday that I am at home and able to. Sometimes that means seven days a week and sometimes that means three.

Every once in a while, I lose myself completely in my run. Losing myself… Odd idea but for a lack of better words this is what I call it. Quite possibly, meditation is a better word for what happens. Today was one such time. It is January 5^ththe country road is dry with only traces of snow in the fields and pastures and the temperature was +5 Celsius when I ran. This is so unusual and for as much as I love winter, today, clad in one layer of running clothes, it felt like spring – rebirth and an awakening time.

Home from a run - Fall 2010

I am grateful to have found the exercise that resonates within and without my entire being and invite you to tell me if you have found such a practise, and if so, what?

…Ellyn

Weird! Wordless Wednesday

2012-01-04T12:31:00.000-08:00

Nutrition and the Start of 2012...

2012-01-02T16:04:00.000-08:00

Inspired by Abbie who is a Farmer’sDaughter, I too am focusing on cleaning out our kitchen cupboards and refrigerator of faux foods and reevaluating the wholesome simplicity of the foods we put into our bodies.

The first thing we as a family need to do is take it one day at a time. Therefore, today and because of PatriciaMoreno’s encouragment, we are choosing to stay away from anything with refined sugar in it. Through the Christmas season, we indulged in chocolates and cookies and fruit cake and now our body is asking for this. It takes time for a body to quit asking and we will take it one day at a time.

From eggs and sprouted grain bread with creamery butter, to porridge with strawberries and cinnamon to help satisfy our tastes this morning, we will now enjoy a dinner of baked halibut with lemon, tomatoes, garlic and basil accompanied with risotto, butternut squash with a squeeze of orange, steamed broccoli and cawliflower and a mix of fresh greens. Planning simple savory meals is something I love to do and hopefully this will help all of us to continue on with our intentions for 2012.

Here are a few links that I will build on in order to remind me of what I truly believe. I hope they will also assist you in eating simply:

The Benefits of Oatmeal ~ Cook, Eat, Love

The Complete Guide to Oils and Fats

...Ellyn

My Three Words for 2012

2012-01-01T12:53:00.000-08:00

Inspired by Chris Brogan, my three words for 2012 are:
1. Honour - I will honour my writing as a full time job.
2. Smile - I intend to smile more.
3. Detach - what someone else thinks of me, good or bad, is not my business.
And you?
Do you want to create three words for 2012 or maybe just one?
Happy New Year
...Ellyn....

My Gift is… My Words Part II

2011-12-14T12:58:00.001-08:00

My gift is my words…

Today my friend Kaye receives her last Chemotherapy treatment. My heart surrounds her as she sits in that chair that I wish wasn’t so familiar, for the final time… When she comes home, we all wait… Wait to see how she fairs with this one.

She is a remarkable woman who has battled the beast and rid herself of this demon that invaded her life. However, within this demon, angels have emerged - Angels too many to mention. You see, when we give to the world, the world in turn, gives back.

This woman I call friend, is and always has been

Courageous

Dedicated

Determined

Flamboyant

Colourful

Fun

and she has remained so throughout her surgeries, consultations, exams and treatments, honouring this time away from her work, that she loves. This time has been about her and for as challenging as it has been, she has revered it as such.

Congratulations my friend – you did it!

And now we wait…

...Ellyn

What Someone Else Thinks Of Me, Good Or Bad, Is Not My Business

2011-11-20T10:33:00.001-08:00

There are certain things about one’s child raising that one is grateful for, and yet others that one is not. The ones that I did not like, I attempted to make changes with, in my own parenting. However, one aspect of my growing up that I am utmost thankful for, involved my parents never offering me any advice unless I asked for it. From a time when I was quite young, I made my own decisions, stood by those choices and basked in the glory or accepted any consequences surrounding said choices. As a young adult, when someone offered advice to me on any occasion, without me asking for it, I was incensed and insulted. Who were they to think that they could offer me suggestions with how to live?

At 50 years of age, I have learned that it matters not whether someone offers me advice on how to be, but on how I receive her or his intent. I needed to learn that the way in which someone views me and whether or not she or he is favourable to how I live, is of no importance. What is significant, is whether I am approving to the way in which I live.

It was difficult in my young adult years when someone freely offered me advice. I actually wanted to do the opposite just so that I could stand up for my own way of being. I was not obsessed with people pleasing in any way, and yet, I did not carry this behaviour over into marriage. I am thankful that I fell in love with, and married a sweet, kind soul who loves me and put me on a pedestal, but he had been raised in a household where people just fit in, complied with society at large and offered advice freely to each other. I felt as if everyone was living in my back pocket judging every choice I made and yet I was busy raising my own two babies in a way that contrasted with this. These two ways of being began to collide, eventually demonstrating to me that one was not right or wrong, just different.

A passage stated by many and that has shown up in my life over the last few years that has helped me to let this go, is finally beginning to sink in,

What someone else thinks of me, good or bad, is not my business.

While the particular happening was not advice offered, it did surround “taking offense” when the other evening a friend queried whether she had offended me by asking me a delicate question. I actually chuckled, smiled warmly and let her know that I am rarely offended by anything, but that on the occasion that I am, I look to myself to see what it is about me, that I would allow another’s words to have that kind of power over me. I am a human being and when I am presented with a feeling that is contrary to how I typically feel, I start to peel the layers back of my being, in order to understand, detach from and release, and be at peace ready to enjoy life once again.

Before I close this writing off, I want to turn back to why I have made the decisions that I have made, and that part of the challenge with making choices lies in the society that we live in and how the people within it respond. I mentioned that I basked in glory or accepted consequences of decisions, because as much as I have tried to separate myself from what another thinks, there may still be rewards or glory surrounding particular choices, which in turn may fuel the next decision I make. In the past, all of these positive and negative responses from others became muddled with each other until I reached a place where I irrevocably knew that a decision was not necessarily right or wrong but that it just – was.

Face your challenges or don’t and make your own decisions – it’s YOUR choice.

Soar by Christina Aguilera

Now in life there’s gonna be times
When you’re feeling low
And in your mind insecurities seem to take control
We start to look outside ourselves
For acceptance and approval
We keep forgetting that the one thing we should know is
Don’t be scared
To fly alone
Find a path that is your own
Love will open every door.

See in your hands the world is yours

Don’t hold back and always know

All the answers you will unfold

What are you waiting for?

Spread your wings and soar.”

…Ellyn

On Clearing Chaos and Clutter...

2011-11-08T08:20:00.000-08:00

Come and find the quiet centre in the crowded life we lead

Find the room for hope to enter, find a frame where we are freed…

As I sit here with my pen in hand, this familiar and favourite Hymn from Voices United reveals itself, again.

I am not sure how long it has been that I have consciously worked on improving myself, but as I turned 50 this year, I would like to say that it has been for 50 years. It has not. I know that in my teenage and young adult years I was egotistical and thought that I was at the top of my game and that during my 40’s I found myself lost, floundering and unraveling for a time. What I do know, is that I learned to meditate when I was 18 years old and for this I am utmost grateful. It saved me during my University years when the stress to perform, lack of sleep and desire to be free, took its toll on me. For some reason, and for a time, I forgot how to meditate and when I fell into a dark hole following the death of my mama, I had to learn it again. Meditation is now a part of how I live daily.

I am writer and I typically write daily, several times daily. When life circumstances are such that I am not able to be in my sacred space, writing, a lump forms in my throat and waits for me to pick up my pen. Through the practise taught to me by a few teachers, I have learned to clear this lump. But it always returns unless I attend to it and write.

A year and half ago, the lump in my throat reached a frustratingly large size. After only experiencing the discipline once, and not feeling that it did anything for me, I decided to give Reiki another try. Odonata was suggested by a friend, and because the name appealed to me, I made an appointment. When the practitioner and healer, Krysty, asked me to describe the lump in my throat, I told her that it was like I had swallowed a grapefruit, that it seemed fleshy and ruby red, and that I too connected with it being about the size of a grapefruit. As she worked on me, I felt it soften and was moved to tears at the beauty and diligence with how she worked. Afterwards, she enlightened me with the knowledge that it was indeed red but that it was much more delicate and larger than I had described – more like a Red Throated Frigate. You know those birds where the male has a large red balloon-like throat? Krysty also said that I could heal it myself and that it wasn’t for her to do so. How did she know this I wondered, as she proceeded to tell me that during the treatment it was my hands that guided her and told her how to soothe me…

In order to continue to soothe, heal and clear this throat of mine, I write. But here it is a year and half later and my throat still fills. I have begun to look at other activities or practises besides my writing, that may clear this blockage and offer me clarity. Once again, as has happened over the course of this life of mine, Yoga calls me, but this time I roll my eyes. How am I supposed to find a Yoga class living here on this farm in rural Alberta? I have taken Yoga classes before and not once did I feel that any minute part of the class resounded within me. However, I have learned to honour what shows up in my life and so I started to pay attention and Voila! I receive an invitation to join an online book club that is to be lead by a woman who just happens to be a Yoga instructor. Hmmm…. I am not really interested in adding yet another thing to my life but because it is going to be Brené Brown’s book The Gift of Imperfection that will be read and discussed, I say yes and I fall in love with the book, the club, the members and the guide, Holly. Time goes on and Holly moves to a nearby city and then one grey and cool afternoon I get an invitation for a 3-evening package of Yoga classes. I’m now very nervous because I want so badly to go but I also do not want it to be like the other classes I have taken. With encouragement from Holly and a few others, I enroll.

Sunday night was my first evening class and although I did not want to travel the 30 minutes it would take to get to the venue, I did, and it was spectacular! I was welcomed with kindness and warmth and although the poses were challenging, I soon felt as if I belonged. The Sat Kriya was such a powerful position and pose for me that even though it was difficult, I was compelled to stay with it. This one class cleared me of many toxins, the spinal cord stretches, the Sat Kriya and the practise of chanting Sat Nam as well as the collective energy that emanated, that I arose in the night feeling nauseous. I knew better and before sleep, should have consumed copious amounts of water, but at that hour and with a soft smile on my face, I instead, breathed my way through the upset tummy, and for all of this I have utmost gratitude.

Clear the chaos and the clutter clear our eyes that we can see

All the things that really matter be at peace and simply be.

…Ellyn

On living with teens...

2011-11-07T11:28:00.000-08:00

Thanks to The Yummy Mummy Club for once again posting a writing of mine. I am grateful for that wonderfully rich site!

Teens can be challenging beings but they are also are so much fun to be around. The thing is, you have to be with them, lots, and you have to let them know that you love being with them. For me, this means biting my tongue often and reminding myself that they have different lessons to learn on this earth than I had or have and that although I am friendly, I am not yet one of their friends.

I am their mom, one of their guides. My advice to parents of teens, is to keep them busy with something they love and then support it by finding a way to love it too. One thing that my teens love is music.

Jillian studied classical voice for seven years, is enrolled in her ninth year of piano and sings in her brother’s rock band. Max played piano for six years, took drums for one year and has played with a teen rock band for four years. For countless years, the kids jammed and practiced in our basement and I continually praised them for their unique beats and musical sessions even though there were times I wanted to wear ear plugs. This caused them to practice here more often and call on me to listen to particular riffs and sections. And I persevered with a warm smile because I knew where they were and that they were being creative. They recently have found a more permanent practice space and I actually miss them.

Because they are music lovers, I let them DJ whenever we travel together in the vehicle. They love introducing me to certain songs that they are learning, or just ones that they love to sing. When we are faced with a long road trip ahead, my 15 and 16-year-old start getting excited about the new music that they have just discovered and want to share, knowing that I will honour it.

Are there times when I would like to turn to the familiar and soothing sound of Stuart McLean or that I want complete silence?
Yup.
But I know that that is coming all too soon.

How do you envelop living with teens - I would love to hear your stories.

...Ellyn

Teen Theatre Group Voltage! that I had the privilege of directing. (Max and Jillian included.)

Have Faith In & Gift Children with Independence

2011-11-01T11:14:00.000-07:00

Thanks to the Yummy Mummy Club for once again printing an article of mine.

Dr. Martin Brokenleg who co-wrote Reclaiming Youth at Risk, impresses upon his readers that in order for children to grow into responsible adults who follow their hearts and are at peace, they must feel that they:

Belong
Are Masters of Something
Know Independence
Consciously Choose Generosity

Many years ago, I enveloped Dr. Brokenleg’s strategies and used them with each age group that I was teaching. With all students, including those in kindergarten, I wanted them to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that they not only belonged in this place called school, but that they belonged with me. If they felt that they belonged with me, then I knew I could take them those extra steps toward greater confidence with ease rather than force.

Being a master of something is important to youngsters and assists in building great confidence. It is crucial to delve deeply and assist in discovering each child’s gift or talent and then having the faith in him or her to work with this and persevere with a deed, through practice. It is okay to buy Velcro® fastened shoes for 5-year-olds while they are learning to tie but it is also fundamental to continue to teach them to tie. The confidence that this offers a 5-year-old is immense and builds on the next success as does riding a bike, zipping a Ziploc® bag, and opening and closing containers.

My young Kinders held such belief in themselves when they could successfully cross the playground on the glider. I deemed it an important learning and stood and helped them and guided them across never letting them fall except into my arms, until they had mastered it and even though it may have seemed like a minor accomplishment, I knew it was great.

My advice to parents is, as your children grow, it is more than okay to have faith in them that they can perform age appropriate tasks, and to support them in mastering each little feat, as those achievements become overall triumphs that help them to be independent and in turn choose to be generous with their gifts and talents.

...Ellyn

A Shared Desk

2011-10-26T09:33:00.000-07:00

Making ToDo Lists

2011-10-18T12:15:00.000-07:00

I love lists and learned long ago that I am okay with not getting everything done on my To-Do list and that as long as I create one, I typically get much done.

Today's list looks likes this:

- finish posters
- place ads
- ~~clean bathrooms~~
- ~~laundry~~
- roast and freeze beets
- make popcorn cake for Award's Night tonight
- ~~clean up veranda flower pots~~
- ~~make hair appointments for Max and Brent~~
- ~~run~~
- ~~write~~
- meditate
- ~~read~~
- finish presentation
- be at school at 3:30 to set up for tonight

Although I meditate in the shower and before sleep, I also schedule in a specific one to do because otherwise I may get wrapped up in the todos of my day and neglect to take that time especially for me. I feel the same way about reading and exercise knowing that I function at a high level of gratefulness, if I make time for these.

Are you a list maker?

...Ellyn

Wordless Wednesday - 3

2011-10-12T18:27:00.000-07:00

Being at Sixes and Nines

2011-10-11T10:41:00.000-07:00

I am at 6’s & 9’s today. At least that is what my mama would say, if she were here. I guess she is here, just in a different way. For those not familiar with the saying, it means being undecided. But undecided about what? I can’t quite be sure.

Sixes and Nines actually referred to long or short cigars, back in the wagon wheel days of our early pioneer life. For me, it captures exactly how I am feeling but really does not allow me to delve into what it is that I am so mixed up about. That is what my pen is for.

Today as I sit and write, my mama will have been gone from this earth for seven years now. Even though she left quickly, there was time enough to say good-bye, and for this I am grateful. She had just returned home from a wonderful trip to Ireland with a friend, where she had sat on the flight home for nine hours, with her skinny little legs crossed, reading a book. Upon arriving home, she had a sore leg - deep vein thrombosis had set in and she shot a clot to her brain, through her heart causing her to stroke. But it was the incidental finding of advanced liver cancer that took her life. I say took when in actuality, she gave her life on this earth up. She had many internal struggles and she knew that it was time to be at peace.

However, this is only one part of my mixed up being today – the other part sits in the Cross Cancer Institute in Edmonton in the form of my very good friend who begins chemotherapy treatment. She has actually won the battle to rid her body of the cancer cells that were invading. The treatment now is to ascertain that it will not return, and I am confident that it will not.

But….

How do you comfort and support a person who has always comforted and supported others? She is not used to having anyone do anything for her, let alone ask them. There are times that I know she feels as if I am treating her like an invalid but that is not my intent nor why I have done, and want to do more, for her. It is because, there was a time when she saved my soul… a time when I was unraveling.

And so, I will go to the ends of this earth to do anything for her.

…Ellyn

Nola, Monica, Me and Kaye

A Letter to My Mama

2011-10-11T07:35:00.000-07:00

I miss you.

Love
...buddy....

A Little Gratefulness For Living This Rural Life

2011-10-07T11:15:00.000-07:00

There are some drawbacks to living on a country road far from basic services as grocery stores and gas stations, but the benefits cause me to breathe deeply in gratefulness.

Parcels do not arrive easily to this community and businesses usually require a street address before they will take an order. The village is still in the process of developing addresses in this 100-year-old community and so we kind of make them up. I always put my street address as #1 Railway Avenue because there used to be a railway in town with a commercial grain elevator on the street. Couriers could easily spot this landmark and would drop a parcel off there. The arriving whistle of the railway trains are but a memory now and the elevator is a privately used one. However, I continue to use this address name. Sometimes parcels are dropped off at the Snack Shack or the bar but if they are dropped off at the school, the secretary calls me to make sure it is okay to send it home with one of my kidlets, as she certainly would not want to spoil a surprise if it was a gift for one of them.

The school is the heart of our community and it is run like a family, with the older students having to take responsibility for helping the younger ones. All of these young people have the opportunity to learn to be “in-community” early in life.

Yesterday was my daughter Jillian’s last day of school before Thanksgiving weekend and with utmost appreciation and awe, she told me not to make her a lunch that day because the teachers were preparing a Thanksgiving dinner for the students. She told me how excited the teachers were when they told the students about the menu and how much they appreciate these youngsters.

I think that I will take the shortcomings of this wee village, because the advantages overflow in abundance.

…Ellyn

Wordless Wednesday - 2

2011-10-05T07:42:00.000-07:00

Madly Off in All Directions

2011-10-03T10:13:00.000-07:00

This Stephen Leacock quote resonates deep within today as I work at sitting down to write. My family and I were away for the weekend and besides laundry, yard work, organizing a new calendar, meditating, running and daily chores, I have my daily writing work to do.

Although I love writing and know that I am a writer, it is hard work for me, always. Like my friend Annie says, “This has nothing to do with any kind of the fictitious creation commonly referred to as writer’s block—there is always a floodgate of thoughts…but simply the effort and discipline required” that can be daunting.

I am a disciplined person in most everything that I do, which causes me to schedule in my writing and at fifty years of age, presently am fortunate to be able to treat writing as a full-time job. I value the friends and relatives that understand this about me, not disturbing me during the day when I am at work. There are some people who have been told and they completely respect this time of mine and yet others who still phone me during my time at work, drop by my home or ask me to run errands for them, because after all, I am at home. One friend suggested that I lock the doors. I smiled warmly because the entryway that houses my cathedral style windows and keeps me bathed in sunlight, where I sit to write, has a front door with windows as well as a back door. I would not be able to hide. And the thing is, I don’t want to hide. I want to be honoured and respected for the work that I am doing. And so I pause to think… why have I invited this in? Am I not honouring someone’s work? I invite you to enter in to this discussion with me about your work be it writing or otherwise.

…Ellyn

Being a Model for Our Children - Exercising for Fun and Fitness

2011-09-29T10:40:00.000-07:00

When my youngest child entered Grade 1, I had discovered that I had become an uncomfortable size 14 with poor eating habits not allowing myself to ever feel hungry – snacking whenever I wanted on whatever I wanted. I knew it was time for a change but I live 50 km from the nearest pool, gym or program and for my own peace of being, I still needed to be available to my children when they were home from school. I taught two days a week and decided to run on the three weekdays that I did not teach. I could barely breathe and could only run for short stints, when I heard about John Stanton a confirmed couch potato who started the chain of stores and programs called The Running Room. Although he has inspired many marathon runners, his goal has never been to create them but to assist in helping people get off of the sofa. What follows is my program, that was inspired by John, that I have followed for almost 8 years now, without injury or ever getting bored with running.

Week 1 – 1 minute run/1 minute walk x 10 - 3 days a week

Week 2 – 2 minute run/1 minute walk x 6 – 3 days a week

Week 3 – 3 minute run/1 minute walk x 5 – 3 days a week

Week 4 – 4 minute run/1 minute walk x 4 – 3 days a week

Week 5 – 5 minute run/1 minute walk x 3 – 3 days a week

At this point I discovered that I could and wanted to increase it to 4 days a week and I wanted to run in a 5km race and began to train for my first one.

Week 6 – 6 minute run/1 minute walk x 3 – 4 days a week

Week 7 – 8 minute run/1 minute walk x 2 – 4 days a week

Week 8 – 10 minute run/1 minute walk x 2 – 4 days a week

Week 9 – 20 minute non-stop run – 4 days a week

If this is too difficult a task to start with, one can start with an even better/slower program suited to them. If one needed to repeat a week – one could!

After 9 weeks, I was able to continue to add time and km and started to run 5 km in 25-30 minutes. The first race I ran was that spring - 5km in 25 minutes. My goal has always been to just treat my heart well and run for health. Although I have run up to 21 km in one run, it is not my preference to do so. It took me a couple of years to drop in size to an 8 and for four years am a size 6-8 depending on the cut of the clothes.

And yet I still must push myself to go out. As I sit here writing, I must actually schedule in my running because I may still look for an excuse on a full day or on a miserable weather day. I use inspirational sayings and photos to help me get off of this desk chair and go for a run.

Why is this?

I think it has to do what has been engrained in me early in life. My parents were healthy thin people who did not need to work at being so and I don’t remember seeing them exercise for fun or fitness. For the most part, children will become like their parents or main caregivers, which is mostly a good thing. Let’s remember to show them we care about ourselves and exercise for fun and fitness.

…Ellyn

Source: kellyexeter.com.au via Ellyn on Pinterest

Wordless Wednesday

2011-09-28T19:10:00.000-07:00

Affirmations

2011-09-27T13:20:00.000-07:00

Even though I had never really heard about intentional affirmations until about six years ago, they have come to play a huge role in my individual life and our family life.

When my teens come home with a particular ailment, the first thing they ask me for, is an affirmation, in order to rid them of the infliction. The first time it happened, I chuckled inside but gladly wrote out an affirmation to help Jillian with an aching muscle.

Before we exit we are reminded to create our own day...

Infliction... In...

I believe that sickness comes from within and is tied to our emotions. Some years ago now, I began to use Louise Hay’s book, YouCan Heal Your Life as well as Feelings Buried Alive, Never Die by Karol K. Truman. These women’s ways of handling their health make sense to me.

The statement below the mirror invites us to "Believe"

I remember at age fourteen when I had a crush on a fella in my youth group. I was looking forward to going to a weekend camp and seeing him for a few days in a row. When we all arrived at camp, he ignored me. In fact, he ignored me all weekend. I was confused and sad and when my mom and dad picked me up, when the camp was over, I was silent. Later that evening, my mom questioned me about my behaviour and I broke into tears, holding my chest because I could barely breathe and I asked her why it was that my chest actually hurt. She smiled warmly and held me and told me that when your heart is broken, you feel the pain there.

All matters of the heart hurt the heart, hurt the breast and so if we heal those matters, we heal the physical pain and dis-ease.

Statements are scattered throughout our house, beside our beds, by the light switches, above the shower and mirrors, over the family desk and anywhere else we may take time to read these important words. The few photos that I have collected to put with this post, demonstrate how we use some affirmations in our life and we always end each avowal in gratefulness.

Appropriately placed for anyone to affirm good health...

If you use affirmations to heal, I would love to hear about your experience?

…Ellyn

Running on Country Roads

2011-09-12T08:40:00.000-07:00

I consider myself to be a seasoned runner. My last running themed writing, on this blog, states that I have been running for seven years, which presently makes it eight. I only run 3-4 days a week and sometimes go for weeks not running, but I can quickly get going again.

I love that I can run right out my front door, safely and peacefully on this beautiful country road. However, there are some hazards to running on a country road one of which hit me the other day causing me to trip. My Golden Retrievers run with me, and my male, Gus, loves to lead. When I turn and come back for home, he is sometimes out in the pasture. I always give him a warning that I am going to be turning back soon but the other day it took him awhile to catch up and pass me. He actually knocked me down. I was shocked, and rediscovered that gravel burn is not fun. Luckily that was all. I guess I would have had to crawl home if I had turned an ankle.

Other hazards that I have encountered are ducks and coyotes. Coyotes stay at a distant but I sometimes wonder what if one had rabies? I remember a young coyote following me once, until my dogs came running from the pasture to chase it away. Ducks really aren't a hazard just a little startling as they nest and swim in the little ponds in the ditch.

I love running and am wondering, if you run, walk or bike, where do you love doing this?

…Ellyn

In 2004 and at Jilly's request we ran in a Mother's Day Race together.

A Dinner Time Strategy

2011-09-07T11:22:00.000-07:00

When my husband and I were both working away from home full time and our kidlets were in elementary school, my good friend Kaye offered me the most wonderful little bit advice surrounding meal organization. Kaye insisted on a few rules for this as many of you trying it may want to as well. Rules such as everyone must try everyone else's meal and only positive comments are allowed. Our children have always eaten a variety of foods and enjoy trying new ones and so it was unnecessary for us to do this.

We live on a farm and grocery shopping can be challenging considering that we like to eat mostly homegrown or all natural foods. I do not like to stop by the store for this or that and prefer to have our groceries purchased monthly and so this worked beautifully for us. I’ll change the tense here because we continue to use this handy little strategy.

At the start of every month, the kids and Brent each choose 5 meals while I choose 10 and then I write them on the calendar for the next 25 days knowing that some days will be leftover days. With the exception of a few fresh items, all of the groceries are then purchased. Every morning, or the night before, the meat is taken out to thaw and prepping becomes a dream come true for the first person to arrive home who starts dinner.

Here is our family calendar for the month of September with the only items not included being salads and vegetables that accompany every meal.
...Ellyn

Meals are highlighted in caramel.

The Shift

2011-09-02T11:30:00.000-07:00

The Shift

I feel the shift of fall.

Many years ago, my friend Carrie, offered me this sensation that resonated immediately and inspired me to write. Carrie says that she can smell the shift. I see it in the colour of fall. The way the evening sunlight bounces orange like over the dinner table and causes me to think that it is time to retire for the evening. Like the character Joe Fox, in the movie You’ve Got Mail, it is the time of year when I am compelled to buy bouquets of yellow HB pencils for friends. It is also that time when I find myself fortunate to be able to walk through institutional steel doorways, effortlessly, like I have been doing it all of my life. I almost have.

I started school forty-four years ago and there have been very few years since then that I haven’t started school. When I finished high school, I was tired of that place called school and had no intention of ever going to school again. Needless to say, my parents were devastated. I began working for a hotel, cleaning rooms, and when I rode the student packed city bus to work that first morning in September when University had begun, I yearned to be one of those rucksack-clad bodies with new clothes and a fresh new outlook. I knew right then, that I wasn’t finished with school.

I am a lifelong learner and although I miss being with those amazing little beings in a classroom that once filled my life with vigor and joy, I am content and satisfied knowing that that part of my life is finished. But not my learning about those little ones or that place called school…

Which brings me to this: School is not just a place but plays one of the most important roles in our lives. My wish this year is that teachers will honour this so that our students will as well. I want to wish each and every learner a transformational year.

Enjoy and envelop the shift...

Ellyn....

Our Virginia Creeper climbs and climbs...

There but for the grace of God Go I - Again

2011-08-30T10:06:00.000-07:00

When I am feeling that someone has “pushed my buttons”, I find a quiet space within my being to take time to figure out what is up with me that I need to examine these feelings that are emerging?

What is it that I need to learn?

It wasn’t always this way. I used to actually think that someone else had that kind of control over my feelings. That it was her or his fault! I have learned that it doesn’t really matter what anyone else does or says, but how I handle it… how I behave… how I feel... that really matters.

The other day, once again, an acquaintance told me an outright lie. The first time I noticed that she had lied to me, I was absolutely shocked, and I pondered about it for far too long. And then it happened again… and again… and again…

What causes someone to lie?

Is every lie equal?

When I sit with my dad through surgery and he asks me if there is a lot of blood, which I know if I answer affirmatively is going to cause him even more stress, is calmly saying, “No.” an acceptable lie?

To cite the humorous words of Jerry Seinfeld, are there must-lie situations?

As a teacher working with young ones, if a child lied, I felt that it was important to call her or him on it so that a pattern would not be set. This can be done with absolute gentleness and support. In my experience, children lie to protect themselves or to protect someone else and the more that they “get away” with a lie, the more they seem to do it. And yet, if I knew a child would be treated harshly at home for an incident at school, I too have lied by omission of details to protect that little one.

But when it is an adult who is pulling me in for what appears to be no particular reason, what then?

As I write, I am only beginning to come to terms with this, knowing that it is not for me to judge the liar as I too have lied and may lie again, but to hold her with compassion in hopes that she realizes the burden that her lying is creating for her. In the interim it is also crucial for me and my well being to step away from this person.

…Ellyn

On Being a Snob - There But For the Grace of God Go I

2011-08-23T10:15:00.000-07:00

One morning a good friend gave me a virtual slap in the face. He didn't realize this until later, but it was a gift that I am grateful for. We were discussing advancing communications technology and our mutual love of gadgets and I was listing off all of the “stuff” that my teens possess. He began to wonder about those children who come from “have-not” environments and at what a disadvantage they might be at in ways surrounding belonging but also worldly knowledge and academically. His thinking immediately went into a “what can I do” mode. Mine did not. My thinking immediately judged particular families I have known, who do not provide the basic nutritional needs nor do they provide proper winter clothing for their children and yet with the resources that they do have, they buy them lots of electronic gadgets.

I live an abundant life and am grateful to be able to offer my children so much and in turn I know how grateful they are to have a safe and loving home that provides them, not only with their basic needs, but many wants. When one has the extra wants, it is easy to say that love, food, and shelter should always be the priority before any of the extras, but this is viewed through these privileged life eyes of mine.

It is not for me to judge.

There but for the Grace of God go I.

Just as I am parenting to the best of my abilities, in this moment, with what I know right now, so are other parents. Just as my heart bursts with joy when my son opened up his electronic drum kit and my daughter her iPad, so do other parents’ hearts burst with joy to watch their children open up their treasures.

There is no hierarchy in this life that we live, no one person is better or worse than another and there are no excuses for being a snob and judging how someone chooses to parent.

Thanks Tim for the reminder as something could befall me and I too could be in a similar position.

There but for the Grace of God go I.

…Ellyn

Camp Teckla

2011-07-08T19:15:00.000-07:00

This was my fourteen year old daughter’s 9^th year at her beloved basketball camp. Jillian fell in love with this wicked, and aggressive game years ago and it quickly became one of her passions. It seems odd to see my composed and sweet little fair haired, pale skinned girly out there digging and giving it all she has but it is through basketball that she gets to be that part of herself and she loves it.

The main coach of Camp Teckla is the talented Leighann Doan. Leighann’s basketball career spans many years, involving University play as well as an opportunity to play in the global spectrum. She is a strong leader and commands an amazing team of coaches that have taken my girly and others far into the world of basketball.

The people who created this opportunity and continue to host it are an extremely loving, yet non-assuming couple, actually grandparents to many, named Dorothy and Stan Anderson and as I type their names a lump finds its way immediately towards my throat. Dorothy’s and Stan’s granddaughter Teckla, lost her life on this earth at age sixteen. She was a vibrant young girly with a desire to “play hard or go home”. That is how she lived her short life and because of this, Dorothy and Stan started the memorial basketball camp that just wrapped up its 15^th year. Teckla’s colourful spirit lives on and the cool thing is, is that Teckla’s basketball coach, Kim Poapst, who is very involved in school and teen sport, continues to manage this camp too.

Today is always a difficult day. It is the day that Jillian has to say goodbye to everyone, again. As we walked out of the gym on this final day she said, “If I grow up to be like anyone, I hope I grow up to be like Leighann.” I smiled warmly and was grateful that once again my girly has an amazing mentor that has touched and continues to touch her life.

Thank you Leighann, thank you Dorothy & Stan, thank you Kim and thank you Teckla for gifting us with your spirit…

...Ellyn

Leighann & Jillian

My Gift is… My Words

2011-06-29T09:13:00.000-07:00

Grade ten went by in a flash for my son Max. It has been the best year, since Kindergarten, that it could possibly have been, and for this, I am grateful.

A friend, whose son I had the privilege of teaching in Kindergarten, once said that she hoped that her son would head off to senior science classes with as much verve and anticipation as he headed off to Kindergarten with. I too hoped this for my fella and I am thrilled to say that he did just that.

To Max’s Science teacher this year, I am grateful for the time spent with hands on experiments and for rekindling in Max the wonder and magic that science holds.

To his English teacher who noticed Max’s creative abilities, was openly appreciative that he paid close attention and followed the class expectations, and nominated him for a Leaders of Tomorrow Award, I am thankful.

To his Physical Education teacher/coach/mentor, who inspired him to be the best that he could be, given his gifts and talents and for pushing him to go further beyond the school and into a different community to honour one of those gifts, I am truly grateful.

To Max’s Social Studies teacher who noted that Max works hard for every mark he gets but has a passion for maps and geography and makes connections between the past and present with regard to politics and history and who also nominated Max for a Leaders of Tomorrow Award, I thank you!

To his Aunt, when in grade one when Max was sad, held his heart as she let him sit on her lap during recesses and then once again invested in him while teaching him in grade ten about all of her passions for photography and graphic design, I am thankful.

To his Math teacher who was aware that Max made/makes good decisions surrounding schoolwork and deadlines and saw that although Math is a great challenge for him, with his diligence, he can do much more, I am so very grateful.

To the Principal who strives to create a dynamic team and not only asks the students to be responsible for all of their actions, but respects them and genuinely likes the students, I offer out my thanks.

My sixteen year old has many positive guides in his life and will continue to flourish knowing that he belongs at Gus Wetter School.

Thank you and create a great summer!

…Ellyn....

Max at the High School Christmas Banquet

Play On...

2011-06-27T14:09:00.000-07:00

“in Just spring when the world is mud-

luscious”… beloved poet e. e. cummings writes

“and eddieandbill come

running from marbles and

piracies and it's

spring”

I first heard this poem when I was in my early teens and I immediately fell in love with it. It may have been because it was an easy poem to memorize and recite or maybe it was because it seemed simple. As I approach fifty, Cummings words touch me in a very different way, often with sadness and a yearning for the freedom that my childhood held. Simplicity, would be the last word that I would use to describe this rich poem.

For children, play is work. I love to see how young ones delve into their play in order to make sense of the world around them. How they slip into absolute freedom and joy with their play and then fall into bed, peacefully with utmost satisfaction for a day well spent. Children dig in the dirt with intensity of purpose and walk away when they are finished not when the “job” is completed. When working with youngsters, it has always been important to me to allow them to exhaust themselves with a particular toy or activity before giving it up to someone else or giving it up for something else. I never liked the idea that a child should have a toy for a set time and then pass it on to the next. I have had some accuse me of not insisting on sharing when in actuality I did, and do agree with sharing but only if a child is finished with the particular toy that is desired by another. When my son was five, we bought him his first stomper rocket. It was a surprise gift that I had put in the trailer and was going to bring it out when we were camping. That particular trip, and along with a group of friends, we arrived in the pouring rain and set up the trailer. A few of the kids went into our trailer to play games and when the rain lifted, three other fellas, who had found the rocket, asked if they could play with it. “Of course.” I said, assuming Max would be included. Max was considerably younger. Max never said a word to me all the while knowing that I always let him play until he was finished with something. Finally, after a few hours, he asked me if he could play with his new rocket too. It was the only time I remember interrupting and asking others to “share” the toy.

Kids in the Sand...

Today, my daughter Jillian, begins her summer vacation and Max begins his summer job. At age fourteen and sixteen, I want them to remember the importance of play and although I do not want to schedule it in, I want them to value its importance and I wonder how I will continue to do this.

As an adult I have, at times, forgotten how important it is to play. I have a tendency to delve into the work, that is no longer play, and get fussed by deadlines and agendas. Although I specifically run for my heart and take time for activities like golfing and skiing, I wonder about the kind of play that young children immerse themselves in like skipping and swinging.

As I type this, my sixteen year old Max is figuring out the helmet camera that I just won while fourteen year old Jillian puts together a new Lego® creation.

And so I ask you,

“when the world is puddle-wonderful

and bettyandisbel come dancing

from hop-scotch and jump-rope and

it’s

spring”

do you play?

e. e. schaffner

On Spelling...

2011-06-20T09:51:00.000-07:00

In my experience, spelling has not seemed to be connected to any other part of language learning. When I have a look at my own children and their spelling knowledge and skills this also seems to be evident.

Jillian learned to read before she went to grade one. She taught herself and at age 14, reads voraciously. She is also an awful speller having to use many strategies in order to spell well and she seems to have no attachment to caring about this challenge of hers.

Max learned to read along with his primary school classmates and has followed a so-called “normal” pattern with the learning of new material. He only reads what he has to read and prefers to ponder and create more than take in. He is a terrific speller making connections between like words and transferring his knowledge of one word to many. Phonics makes sense to him, as do exceptions to spelling rules.

In the box called school, Jillian is a straight A student with very little effort and Max works hard for B’s.

What does this all mean?

Well first off, it is only fascinating to me, not important, as I know what their gifts and talents are and how to encourage those to be used for good in this world. As a teacher, I felt that this was my greatest responsibility after keeping them safe physically and emotionally.

However, part of my responsibility was also to teach academic skills. I am a writer and know that one becomes a better writer by writing and so I wanted my students to write and write and write – freely. This meant that spelling had to be thrown by the wayside in the initial stages of writing. However, in order to produce polished pieces, editing was necessary and with editing comes spelling correctness.

One of the strategies I used was to have handheld electronic dictionaries available throughout the classroom as well as a variety of hard copy paper dictionaries. But the greatest strategy that produced far-reaching and long lasting results came to me when I had a triple graded class of 6-8 year olds. It unfolds as follows:

When you, the student, are doing a spelling edit on a writing piece and you come to a word you are not sure of:

1. Ask how many letters there are in the word and then put that many blanks on a piece of paper, white/chalk board etc. eg: The word “like” would look like this _ _ _ _

2. Attempt to fill in blanks – must be quick and brief or I would give hints and sometimes fill in the blanks with an explanation. Say child writes, lick for like, I then would put a check mark above l and i and erase the c and k and see if he/she can fill those blanks in.

3. If child cannot, I remind them that there are many words that end in this silent letter and we must get used to remembering this. Invariably they write ke for the ending of the word.

This entire process should not take long - just seconds. Other students can take these same seconds to help their classmates and I would suggest students that may be a resource for each other. For instance: I remember a child needing to spell the word dolphin and so I asked that child if they could think of someone in the class who loved dolphins and might be able to assist them. Sometimes I would ask a child if they remembered someone else needing that word a few days ago and then the child would remember and ask said child to help them.

When I accidentally fell into creating this strategy, it was out of need and a noticeable desire for all. For the first two days it was mayhem and after that it was so smooth that one hardly noticed the goings on and spelling became a secondary focus.

What I did notice is that the students were becoming good spellers maybe it was because they were beginning to see and make connections and because the words that they wanted to spell were from their personal thoughts and vocabulary. I am not certain.

What I do know is – it worked!

…Ellyn

(I hope that this is stated clearly enough.)

A Royal Touch

2011-04-29T11:04:00.000-07:00

Early this morning, in the darkness of our little place on this earth, even before any birds summoned us, the alarm sounded. It was 2:45 a.m. Clad in our pyjamas with blankets and pillows my girly and I padded out to the living room to watch Kate marry William.

It was in 2005 when Jillian was 9 years old that she fell in love with the Royal Family. That was the year that our province became 100 years old and as part of the celebration, Queen Elizabeth and Prince Phillip visited the capital city of Edmonton. I had offered to take both of my children out of school for the day so that they could see her on her Walk-About. However, because Max chose not to go, we invited Jillian’s best friend Jacey to join us instead. Jacey’s very English Great-Grandmother was thrilled and guided us on what to wear. Two weeks before the Walk-About, Jacey and Jillian had new dresses and shoes, hats and long white gloves. I booked a hotel room at the Westin for the night before and we anxiously awaited to catch a glimpse of our beloved Queen. Jillian had discovered that the Queen’s favourite flowers were daisies, which motivated us to purchase a bouquet for each girl to carry, on the occasion that they might actually be able to present her with them.

Following breakfast at this largely business class hotel, where the girlies received as much attention as a celebrity might, we walked over to Sir Winston Churchill Square to find a perfect spot to wait. I had purchased little folding stools for the girls to sit on while they waited. Folding stools that matched the colour of their dresses.

Not long after we arrived, a British speaking woman approached me and asked me if she could place the girls strategically and remarked that she would ensure the girls would indeed see Queen Elizabeth up close. I smiled warmly as these young girlies became little stars themselves that morning.

As the photo suggests, the morning unfolded in a most amazing way. Not only did Jillian and Jacey see Queen Elizabeth up close, they graciously presented her with the happy bouquets whereby Jillian breathily remembers the soft touch of Queen Elizabeth’s gloved hand on hers. When the Queen departed, I stepped back and allowed the girls to be interviewed by three television stations and one newspaper. It was all very magical allowing the girls to step into a little piece of history.

Jacey and Jillian centre, just as Queen Elizabeth moves on.

This brings us back to today, where it is became important to stay home from school and view another connected bit of history in the making – live.

The grace that Kate Middleton moved with, all the while obviously trying to be present and enjoy her wedding day was captivating. Her ivory dress with the lacey bodice as well as the lacey appliqué on the skirt, was perfect. Pippa’s stunning and simple gown along with her eloquent movement with all of the little people added to the personalization of the wedding. Prince Harry and his scamp-like behaviour taking a sneak peek and letting his brother know how beautiful she looked added to the authenticity of the moment. The traditional Anglican ceremony complete with well known Hymns including the recessional, Crown Imperial by William Walton, which was also played at Charles and Diana’s wedding, tied the observance together beautifully as our dearly loved Queen in all of her radiance wore a sunshine yellow dress and hat, to match her warm personality that we have been privy to experience.

...Ellyn

Background Parenting

2011-04-26T18:04:00.000-07:00

I consider myself to be a valuable support person and have always loved being in the background of projects.

When it comes to my children’s formal education however, I am an involved parent. Actually I am involved in many areas of their lives. Never the less, being involved looks different as children become teens. Although I have never done any school work for either my daughter or my son, I do provide them with an environment conducive to pursuing an interest, completing a project, researching and writing endeavours and any other venture that is assigned or chosen. I offer tips and look for tools that might assist them. I engage in dialogues with them surrounding topics and offer to edit writings for spelling and grammar only, and only then do I make suggestions and then “bite my tongue”.

It has always been important to me that my children take responsibility for their own learning and demonstrate their knowledge and skills. My responsibility lies in helping them realize their gifts and talents and encouraging them to use these for their greatest good.

When my son Max entered Grade 10, I knew it was time to head even further back into the background. I knew that the pattern had been set from the time he entered school. A pattern that I was grateful he followed: when one gets home from school, one’s backpack goes on the hook and is unloaded, all notes go in mom’s inbox, the lunch kit is emptied and hung on its hook, a half an hour is spent physically riding a bike, jumping on the trampoline, playing basketball or drumming and then any homework is completed. While Max did/does any homework, I make dinner and have conversations with him about the topics he is studying. At 16 years of age, he knows his body well and knows that if he does not get his work completed by early evening, he is in dire straits. He is a person who needs his sleep and crawls in bed at 9:30 p.m. on school nights.

So what does it look like to step into the background of a child’s life?

I attend all school meetings, follow the school’s website, read school newsletters, have loaded the school calendar into our own online family calendar, regularly check my son’s online grade keeper and discuss this openly with him, subscribe to any teacher blogs, attend parent/teacher interviews, attend all events that Max is involved in with regard to sport or music and I am available to drive and chaperone school events.

And then… I trust him to make good decisions surrounding his school work, behaviour and ethic.

At the close of a recent PTI with one teacher, I mentioned that if there were any issues, to please let me know so that I could be aware of these and work with him for Max’s benefit. The teacher looked me in the eye and told me that if there were any issues, he would take them up with Max. At this I smiled warmly, thanked him for his time and said goodnight. When I climbed into the car, I started to laugh and I have been smiling warmly ever since. Of course this teacher will take any issues up with him! This is what I have been preparing Max for and I am in awe that he is responsible and makes good decisions. Will he always? I don’t know. He is only 16 and has an entire life to be lived yet. What I do know is that I have guided him well and it is now time to move back just a little bit more.

“If I’m young and stupid, at least I’m doing it while I’m young and stupid”… (Hedley, 2009)

…Ellyn

On Taking Ownership of Our Online Life...

2011-04-18T11:11:00.000-07:00

As I prepare for an Internet Safety Presentation being offered at my son’s high school, I sit at my desk in thankfulness. I am grateful that my children have been easy to parent, so far. They readily ask me about privacy concerns and have opened their digital lives up for me to peruse and teach. I have not friended them on Facebook® because we all use this social media site for different purposes, but I continually engage them in a conversation surrounding SM, how to use it effectively and why one needs to be aware of its potential and value.

Am I frightened by the ease to which my teens have access to the immediate world at their fingertips? Absolutely! To paraphrase Will Rich,
If you’re parenting right now and you’re not afraid, then you’re not parenting right now.
However, even in saying this, I refuse to act based on fear, and work at acting on hope, through education. Which brings me back to the presentation this evening and my teaching/learning journey.

I feel the same way about preparing a child for entering the Internet and encourage you to ponder David Truss’ words that follow. David can be found at http://pairadimes.davidtruss.com where he provides anyone in need with this available poster.

We Filter Websites At School!

· Students will not know what to do when they are at home and they come across malicious or inappropriate websites.

· Searches may confuse and overwhelm students at home as they will be in unfamiliar territory.

· While at school students will not be able to use many interesting and exciting websites that they can use at home.

· At school we will not be able to help students who have issues with social software sites like Facebook.

· Because we filter websites at school we cannot prepare your child to be net savvy. That responsibility now rests firmly on your shoulders. Good Luck!

~David Truss

Although this has been our education system’s initial way in which to handle frightening movements in society, many within the system are attempting to change that, and for this I am grateful.

With the changes that are rapidly occurring let’s look to the Internet that exists in our hands. The mobile Internet. When I gave my fifteen year old his handheld web device I told him that its secondary feature was that of telephone and set out to teach him the responsibility surrounding this amazing tool.

"The mobile internet . . . will not be just a way to do old things while moving. It will be a way to do things that couldn't be done before." In part because of this, Howard Rheingold then suggests: "A new kind of digital divide ten years from now will separate those who know how to use new media to band together from those who don't." Rheingold wrote this in 2002 and we know that this is becoming a reality in many people’s lives. This causes me to think of the responsibility that befalls parents and educators. I see the value in teaching our children/students how to utilize these web devices with ease as a tool but also with accountability. David Parry, Assistant Professor of Emerging Media and Communications at the University of Texas at Dallas, states that for him, “the key piece is recognizing that the mobile computing power in our pockets radically changes not merely our classrooms but, more [importantly], the spaces that students inhabit and the conversations they have outside of our teaching.” He goes on to say that he wants “to teach students to take ownership of this type of change so that they can shape the mobile transformation as much as they are shaped by it.”

I concur and continue to take ownership in guiding my own children with regard to discerning information, using security features, and knowing that it is a joyous and interesting privilege to have Internet use especially in the palm of their hands. Will they be duped by probable negative forces that exist? Will they often view their handheld device as an expedient way to get a message to a friend? Possibly, but I also hope that they will know of a teacher that they can rely on to demonstrate viable and responsible ways to use these amazing devices, that they will know procedures that they can rely on, that they can always ask me for assistance with the handling of a particular online situation and that they take ownership for their behaviour online.

I am grateful for the conversations I have had with Howard Rheingold, Will Rich, David Truss and others all via twitter and our blogs – stranger friends, as another stranger-friend Annie, would call them, and I invite you to enter into conversation surrounding this most important issue.

…Ellyn

There but for the grace of God go I

2011-04-12T09:15:00.000-07:00

Although attribution for this statement has been questioned, it was possibly uttered, by English reformer and martyr John Bradford, when he witnessed a prisoner headed for execution.

This declaration comes up for me periodically in my meditations and causes me to wonder...

I learned to meditate when I was 18 years old and for this I am truly grateful. Evening meditations helped me get through my University years as well as when I initially began teaching. For some reason, throughout my 30’s and early 40’s, I forgot to meditate. Now in my 49^th year, I meditate often, at least three times a day and sometimes for as little as one minute. The clarity that it offers me is unending and far reaching. But why now is this Bradford proclamation coming up again?

A reminder?

Possibly.

It is not for me to judge anyone and if I feel something unjust is being committed, it is for me to see that I too have acted unjustly and hopefully I will remember to offer love and support to those, in order for positive change to come about.

Offer love and support even when it comes to my Government, which is not The Harper Government but the people of Canada’s Government.

There but for the Grace of God go I.

The last time I was a card-carrying member of every existing political party, was when I was a young adult in University. It was important for me to go to every Leadership Convention and other political events and to have a voice while there. I know that I have only voted for a particular party once and that all other times, I have voted for a particular person. Is it time once again, to belong to all of the parties in order to gain clarity or is educating myself along with the act of meditation, going to be enough?

I am puzzled with my Prime Minister’s actions not to answer questions from the people, citing often, “No comment.” Again, it is not his Government, but ours. When someone refuses to answer the very people he or she represents, he or she loses the confidence of those people. Is this what has happened or is there more going on? In the past, Governments have been confusing entities that now need to be un-muddled. Some believe that partisan politics are no longer effective. This also causes me to wonder and spend much time reflecting.

And so, I will continue to meditate for clarity and direction, and educate myself with the particulars surrounding our current political situation with the intention to weed through the webs that are woven in order to vote for the person I believe is best suited for this noble endeavour, all the while knowing that I too have been evasive at times not wanting to comment.

There but for the grace of God go I.

…Ellyn

Could Vs. Should

2011-03-22T12:51:00.000-07:00

As I reflect on the progression of my calling to teach, as well as this present call that I answer, I am reminded of a time, early on in my career, when I actually thought that children “should” behave a certain way and that children “should” be at a certain developmental milestone at a particular time on a particular schedule. I now believe that should, is one of the most destructive words in our vocabulary. It denotes that something is amiss or wrong. I once had puzzled thoughts like, she should know her alphabet by now - or he should be able to tie his shoes by now.

I no longer wonder why I thought in this way, but have in its place, enveloped a new way.

If we, instead, consider that these developmental milestones are simply guidelines, we begin to open up to genuinely honouring each child for their uniqueness and we in turn, create and discover ways to reach and teach each individual. If we replace “should” with “could”, we are open to many more possibilities with not only our wee ones, but with everyone we come into relationship with.

She could learn her alphabet if…

He could tie his shoes if…

She could understand this if…

He could choose differently if…

Could, takes the pressure off and we are then never in a battle between right and wrong – instead everything just...is, (Inspired by the teachings of Louise Hay) and in the same way, we then take ownership in the relationship even if that relationship is with our own self.

The paper book that I am reading right now is The Call by Oriah Mountain Dreamer. Yesterday, I was pleasantly surprised to read about another one of her books, The Invitation. I thank Annie for this passage from Oriah.

The Invitation

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love
for your dreams
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon…
I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life’s betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness

and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your
fingers and toes
without cautioning us to
be careful
be realistic
to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.

If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand on the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
“Yes.”

It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after a night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the center of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments.

This is The Invitation, however at this moment in time, I look towards The Call and what I have presently decided to honour, which is my life as a writer. When I sit down at my desk to write each day, I do so from my heart but also from somewhere else deep inside of me. From a place that I did not know existed. There are times I am quite surprised by the words that emerge on the paper before me. These words leave me raw and vulnerable and I wonder if they are the coulds inside of me that have been waiting to burst forth. Maybe for far too long now, I have trapped myself by the shoulds of life.

What should a good daughter write about?

What should a good partner say or not say?

I will instead, let myself be inspired by an old friend who recently told me that he is celebrating sixteen years of sobriety and now knows that he can do anything, by a close friend who knows who she is on this earth and dares to be that person in utmost “Beauty even when it is not pretty” (Oriah Mountain Dreamer) and by my partner who chose to stay with me while I unraveled in the shoulds of my life so that we could build once again. It is in these coulds that I am grateful to reside.

What could you do, if you threw away the word should?

…Ellyn

Just Me and B!

The Emergence of Spring...

2011-03-14T07:54:00.000-07:00

Spring is arriving and with its rejuvenating entry comes the promise of new life. This is my 49^th spring and still I marvel at a landscape heavily laden with the whiteness of winter, inviting what appears to be, new buds forming on the willows, young partridges along the roadside emerging causing me to slow down, and calves and kids and near to bursting mama cats in the barn.

However, it is the return of the wild geese that encourages me to stand where I am, raise my head, breathe audibly and then weep.

I know that the wild and free animal in me has been tamed and for the most part, I am content with this but will honour these feelings, let them course through my being, dry my tears, swallow, smile softly and as I take in a deep, cool, fresh breath of spring air, say a silent prayer for myself and for all who yearn to fly, even if it is just for a moment.

…Ellyn

In Honour of International Women's Day

2011-03-08T13:58:00.000-08:00

In honour of International Women’s Day I offer my thoughts in gratefulness, reverence but also vulnerability. My first child born was a son and although I was in love with him before he left my body, I felt drastically different with the emergence of my daughter Jillian…

The moment that the doctor placed that baby on my body my arms enveloping her, I felt a frightening surge of utmost responsibility. It was now my job to see to it that she lived in a world where she could do anything that she wanted to do without external society-created barriers. For her, I wanted a world where each individual was honoured for her or his gifts. This has been one of my challenges, especially living in rural Alberta where Jillian comes into daily contact with some boys, men and sadly women, who continue to create barriers for her and all of her female counterparts.

I am thankful that Jillian has more than just me as a mentor and so I offer out a tribute to women who have played a direct role in Jillian’s life towards becoming a strong young woman.

A teacher Michelle who introduced the Famous 5 to Jillian causing her the desire to see where they are buried and where they are honoured.

Her minister Barbara who continues to marvel at Jillian and other young women and their pursuits.

Her best friend’s mama Laura who Jillian believes is capable of getting out of any scrape – and she probably is.

My best girlfriend Kaye with whom Jillian sees as larger than life and more than capable of surviving anywhere she might be dropped.

Her piano teacher Karen who listens to her dreams.

Strong Femme Fatales of the past in black and white that adorn my girly’s bedroom walls.

And her grandma who paved the way for many women in business and who left this earth but did not leave Jillian.

Happy International Women’s Day and Thank you.

…Ellyn

With Jillian in front of The Lincoln Center.

Beauty In Death...

2011-03-07T11:57:00.001-08:00

Something quite profound has touched my life recently. A girlfriend’s eighty-four year-old grandfather died suddenly. Even though he was showing the early signs in the first stages of Alzheimer’s disease, he and his eighty-two year-old wife remained living in their family home. His wife of sixty-two years was beginning to fuss about how she would continue to physically care for him. After a wonderful, albeit typical morning coffee time visit with a friend, he settled into the passenger side of the vehicle and when his friend came around to help him engage the seatbelt, he was gone. Just like that, he gifted his lovely and revered wife any decisions she might have to make surrounding his care. He had lived a full, rich and love-filled life and it was time to go.

There is beauty in death if we take time to see it…

Over six years ago, after a stroke and an incidental finding of inoperable cancer, my mama had a wish to die at home. Along with my dad, my siblings and some amazing earth angels called Palliative Care Nurses, we ensured that this could happen. My mom had been a beautiful dancer but the stroke had left her legs in such a state that she could not bear weight on them in order to walk independently and of course, would never dance again. Facing him and supported atop his feet, my dad would guide her to the bathroom, the living room and the bedroom. He called this “The Dance” and one evening with his grand singing voice, as he guided her to bed, he sang, “Could I have this dance for the rest of my life…”

On beauty in death, Kahlil Gibram writes

Dry your tears, my friends, and raise your heads as the flowers
Raise their crowns to greet the dawn.
Look at the bride of Death standing like a column of light
Between my bed and the infinite;
Hold your breath and listen with me to the beckoning rustle of
Her white wings.

As I sat at the dining room table that evening and in the moment when my dad danced my mom to her bed, my brother’s eyes met mine and without any words spoken between us, I discovered beauty in death - for this I am truly grateful. I invite you to share with me, your stories about this remarkable beauty that endures even in what might be our darkest moments.

…Ellyn

Adding "s" to Intelligence

2011-02-22T11:20:00.000-08:00

     Dr. Debra Pickering talks about one of the most important occurrences in recent educational history being when Howard Gardner added an "s" to the word intelligence. Although I enveloped children having many varied learning styles long ago, I didn't have any research to back my belief. When Gardner published his works on multiple intelligences, I felt a sense of relief and immediate affirmation by my practise of using a variety of instructional strategies in order to reach more students, from the one young fellow who was so physical, to the environmental learner that needed to delve into nature to make sense of his world.

     The strong physical learner was so active that every time he and I conversed about his learnings, he was in constant motion. He was five years old and when the KinderKids recessed, he would be that immersed in his physical play that he would go out of his way to save a ball from entering the soccer net by diving towards it, often getting cuts and bruises and breaking his glasses - yet again.He was such a unique physical learner and if he would have been asked to "sit and git" he would have struggled to be successful.

     The environmental learner, also a unique youngster, as all are, came to school immaculately dressed and went home with dirt caked to his knees, sand under his fingernails and may have had a conversation with a butterfly that day. He would become so involved in his messy work/play that he would not hear others around him.

     Both of these boys needed to be honoured for the learners that they were, possibly are, in order to feel success.

     One of the strategies that I used was that time outside had to be at least thirty minutes long. I refused to recess with the rest of the school and ignored bells. The students who needed less physical time, were offered books and clipboards with paper to sit and draw, write or read and I would happily sit in a sunny or shady spot to do this with them, if they needed me to or requested this of me.

     I feel fortunate that I have been able to stand firmly for what I believe to be so and feel that, as a society, "we worry about what a child will become tomorrow, yet we forget that he is someone today." (S. Tauscher)

...Ellyn

Being in the Zone

2011-02-16T13:08:00.000-08:00

I have been reflecting on my teaching journey asking myself whether I provided opportunities for children to be in their element or not. The first entry, I wrote on the day that I was preparing to meet Sir Ken Robinson, can be found here. This one surrounds a young fellow named Brent.

I had the unique opportunity to have taught Brent’s older brother and sister and was acquainted with Brent before he ever entered our school. He was a wild and free spirit and although I was in awe of him, I was also terrified to have him come in to a classroom situation, which might stifle him and ask him to comply with rules that did not match his learning gifts. My principal shared my anticipated angst and as we collaborated and prepared for the start of a new year, I remember him actually feeling sorry for me.

On the first day of school in Brent’s grade one year, he joyously entered the building desperate to soak up as much information as possible. I was captivated by his curious nature and his ability to shut off the immediate world and focus in on a particular interest. I don’t ever remember teaching Brent to read. It seemed as if somehow by osmosis, he just absorbed words and fell into stories with ease.

We had a wonderful bank of windows that ran across the east side of the classroom. One particular morning Brent entered and pointed out all of these different shaped and contrasting unshaped clouds. He then stood there peering out of the windows in silence with deep concentration. I gazed at him and finally asked if he would like to study clouds? His eyes grew wide and with astonishment he asked, “Can I?” My response was, “Absolutely!” I began to clear every bit of work that I had prepared for him and enlisted the librarian to find as many resources about clouds that she could. Brent spent every day for two weeks studying clouds. When other students found information about clouds, they promptly offered it to Brent. He told all of us about his findings, drew pictures and diagrams and recorded information and then with a grand and noticeable exhale, he sat back in his desk chair with sheer exhaustion and whispered “Done.”

And he was.

Brent had been fully engaged in personal, purposeful learning. Sir Ken would say that Brent had been in “the zone”.

And what about me?

I see education first and foremost as a relationship-building endeavour. I suspect I always have. By knowing each individual's strengths, loves, passions and desires, as well as their preferred learning style/s and by using many strategies to collaborate with each student, I hope that I assisted them in being fully engaged in the way that Brent was.

Through thorough planning, internalization of curriculum and strong classroom management skills, as well as being secure in my teaching/learning journey and recognizing that Brent was a key component for me in becoming a better educator, I too was engaged in personal, purposeful learning.

…Ellyn

Reflections Surrounding The Element...

2011-02-09T09:55:00.000-08:00

As I prepare to be in the presence of one of my educational mentors, I feel compelled to evaluate the choices that I have made surrounding my teaching practises.

I first came across Sir Ken Robinson’s TED Talk in 2007, while working on my Masters in Educational Leadership. Although I was grateful to hear his message, I was shocked that I had never been acquainted with the man and immediately popped his twenty-minute video, Do Schools Kill Creativity? on my KinderBlog.

And… I visited it often.

In 2009 I put it on my Facebook® wall, sent it out to the masses and sat down to read his book The Element. Presently, as I reread it, I find myself in a healthily reflective mood.

Did I facilitate an environment for children in order that they could be in their element?

During my first year of teaching, I encountered a unique young student. I realized that after the first two weeks of school, she still had not spoken. She was a lovely and cooperative little girl, but I had not heard her voice. I began to ask around and discovered that she had spent her entire first year of school not speaking. She was now in Grade One, and I was required to teach her to read. I was terrified and puzzled. When I met with her mother, she told me that Michelle had been frightened of school but that she had finally wanted to go. I knew then that Michelle was beginning to feel as if she belonged, and I wanted her to know that she belonged not only in this place called school but also with me. I sensed that she had created a role that she was having difficulty breaking free of and that I needed to offer her a supportive way to do so. I turned to my suggested reading list from university and reintroduced myself to Sylvia Ashton Warner. Over the years, her work with Maori children has helped me to polish my own work with young children.

   I decided to accept Michelle for exactly who she was. Her mother invited me for dinners, and I skied and skated with her periodically on weekends. Still, Michelle would not speak when I was present. When she laughed, she covered her face and laughed silently. By first reporting period, I struggled with how to document her reading ability as well as her knowledge in social studies and French. Because her mother and I were in close communication, she told me that Michelle could read well. I decided to give her every appraisal in writing. She had to read everything and answer questions. I thought that I was placing this six-year old child in a dreadful predicament; however, Michelle was an extraordinary reader, and she excelled at all of the assessments I presented her.

   The school year was continuing, but Michelle still was not vocal. Although I struggled inside, I chose not to demonstrate this outwardly. Instead, I consulted with speech pathologists and psychologists, and I asked them to assist me without their meeting with the child. I did not want her perceiving, nor anyone else viewing the notion, that I thought she needed fixing. The other professionals supported my handling of the situation, and they offered me suggestions, which was affirming, because my administration did not.

   The Christmas concert came and went, and I still had not heard Michelle’s voice. I consulted many people during my vacation, and I again turned to my suggested reading list from university. I discovered a wealth of knowledge through a series of books by Vivian Gussin Paley. After the Christmas break, all of the primary students were invited to a pep rally that the high school basketball team was holding at our school. Older students joined with my little ones and led them to the gym. I followed. When I arrived, I noticed the mayhem that surrounded us, and I immediately panicked because I could not see where my wee ones all were. Just then, I felt this smooth little hand in mine and a soft, sweet voice that said, “I don’t know where I’m supposed to go.” I looked down and held tighter, and I asked Michelle if she would like to just stay with me. She said, “Yes.”

The preceding entry is the beginning of a narrative about my teaching life and about one wee girly that I had the privilege of spending a year with. Although I was in my element, did I provide her with an environment that supported her gifts and talents?

…Ellyn

Coyotes and the Balance of Work and Play...

2011-02-07T15:19:00.000-08:00

Coyotes play a role in my life and as I sit here amongst the frozen landscape that surrounds me in every direction, listening to them yip, from the warmth and safety of my home, I wonder…

I am an urbanite transplanted in this rural paradise. I say paradise because I have been enraptured by my surroundings since the moment we moved here and I never tire of the view through the clear and uncluttered windows that expose me to life outside these walls.

When we first moved here, fourteen years ago, I was terrified to be left alone in the silence of my own being, with only the coyotes to be heard. They began yipping everyday at dusk, and I had no idea how far away they were or if they too, were alone. When they showed up in my dreams, I paid close attention wondering what it all meant, if indeed it meant anything at all.

The first coyote dream I remember having, occurred during a time when I was working the equivalent of one and half full-time jobs and my husband was working what might be considered - three. We had two young children and I felt as if I wasn’t doing anything well and that Brent was not only absent physically, but also emotionally. I was making lots of decisions and seemed unable to rely on my Intuition. I dreamt that a coyote came into our front yard while the kids and I were on the verandah. It stood still and stared at us. My son clung to me for safety, my youngest, my girly, stepped off of the verandah walked calmly toward the coyote, with utmost trust. My son and I did nothing to stop her. We just stood there and watched. My heart raced and yet I was silent. The coyote, with a sly grin, slowly turned and walked beside Jillian, both of them moving away from us. Jillian never did look back. This dream has haunted me.

A couple of years later, when I had left all of my teaching and was gratefully working from home and Brent had dropped two of his jobs, and we were – connecting… I reevaluated my life, wondering if I had made the “right” decisions over the past two years. Once again a coyote appeared in a dream. It seemed to be the same coyote that had taken my daughter, only this time she and Max remained with me on the verandah and Brent ran around in front of us to protect us and shot the coyote. As the animal collapsed, dying, it looked up at me as if to say goodbye and I sobbed grateful tears that were also filled with remorse.

Presently, the coyotes in our area seem to be plentiful. Our two dogs bark throughout the night just to keep them at bay. However, with there being so many of them, we see them close by often. The other evening Jillian and I were returning from town when down the road about 2 km away, a young coyote danced and frolicked right in the middle of the road. It seemed to be chasing its tail and with no care that our vehicle was massive compared to him, refused to get out of our way. As I slowed the vehicle down, I was captivated by the animal’s playfulness or was it playfulness? Was it possible that the coyote had mange? I voiced these expressions but stopped quickly when I realized that Jillian was terrified.

The very next day, I was traveling the opposite direction but also about 2 km away, when a coyote appeared in the ditch beside my vehicle and began to run. It traveled alongside of me at the same speed and I felt like we were one…

This morning I turned to a book that I love to peruse, Animal Speak by Ted Andrews. What he states is this: Coyotes “remind us not to become too serious [but also] that anything is possible.”

And so I wonder, am I complicating life? Am I balancing play with work? I invite you to join me in this discussion surrounding the mysteries of an awakened and enraptured life…

...Ellyn

A Thank You…

2011-02-04T09:32:00.000-08:00

As the tripartite discussions between the Alberta Government, the Alberta Teachers’ Association and the Alberta School Boards Association, have come to an end, I reflect on what an amazing and innovative process this has been. Although I have existed on the sidelines learning from reading, writing, and conversations, I am grateful to live in a place where discussions such as this can occur.

The Honourable Dave Hancock, minister of education, and his officials have been admirably working at honouring an amazing Initiative, Inspiring Education, with the hope of transforming the way that we “do” formal learning in this province. Even though a new way could not unfold at this time, I offer out my sincere thanks to all of the people who passionately spent countless hours working together, as it is through integrity of word and action that we bring about transformation justly. By treating our teachers with dignity and standing by their original contract agreement, that was provincially bargained for, my government has once again replenished my hope and trust in the powers that be.

Thank you.

…Ellyn

Idealistic Notion? Not!

2011-01-26T19:28:00.000-08:00

It has been said that many prominent decision makers in education have an idealistic notion of what it should look like. I do too and am fortunate to see it right before my very eyes.

We have the unique opportunity to live in a place where the formal education of our children is of utmost importance and I believe that we need to celebrate what we have created and honour our commitment to the people that spend each day with our children…

Teachers

For the school year beginning September 1, 2011, all Alberta teachers are to receive a 4.3% increase in their salary. This is the end of a 5-year contract, which began in 2007. Instead of paying the increase to teachers, the Government of Alberta is proposing to reopen the contract and make numerous changes. Although ATA President Carol Henderson assures us that the discussions have been respectful, I believe that the intent is not. The intent is clear and I am disheartened that my government is not honouring its word and standing strong with integrity to a commitment.

Some points of interest taken directly from Alberta Education that we need to celebrate are:

Alberta was the first province to establish:

· Charter schools to encourage innovative approaches to student learning;

· Quality teaching standards to promote excellence in classroom instruction;

· A classroom assessment materials program to help teachers evaluate student learning;

· A language development exchange with Japan.

And, Alberta is one of the first to offer a registered apprenticeship program to help students begin to learn a trade while in high school.

The Alberta School Act contains five fundamental principles that define a first-rate education for every child in this province:

· Access to quality education

· Equity

· Flexibility and choice

· Responsiveness

· Accountability

Minister Hancock is proposing some interesting transformations that seek to improve teaching and learning conditions surrounding overloaded curriculum and instructional hours. I applaud him and see these points as areas that need to be continually evaluated and reevaluated, and share the minister’s mandate with regard to continuing to develop a long-term vision for education in Alberta. I believe that the way to do this is to treat our teachers with dignity and stand by the original agreement that was provincially bargained for, carry on engaging with the inspiring people of this province and then move through yet another phase of action.

And so… as teacher appreciation week approaches, my gratitude is enveloped around the people with whom I have trusted and continue to trust my children’s lives with. For the countless hours that you spend, preparing interesting and inviting lessons, attending meetings, workshops and lectures, keeping up with professional reading, coaching each child in the particular sport that they shine at or find a challenge with, encouraging each child to try something because you have faith that they can do it, embracing new and diverse ways of reaching those children that sit before you, and remembering that each one of those beings alongside you is someone else’s baby, I offer you my heartfelt thanks.

…Ellyn

On Compassion...

2011-01-20T14:02:00.000-08:00

The act of compassion was something that I re-learned when I was forty-seven years old. I believe that I was born with the ability to be compassionate just as we all are, but that I lost it somewhere deep inside of me, and it took a very long time to excavate it, let it flow freely from me and begin practicing it once again.

For years I thought that I was being compassionate when I cried with girlfriends, offered money to street buskers, and silently sighed when listening to the woes of someone’s struggles. In my mind, I was actually so sad for each one and thankful that I did not have the issues that each one of them had. I felt sorry for them. Feeling sorry does no good and creates an artificial hierarchy that implies one is better off than the other and I just do not believe this.

Once as a teen when I was being judgmental of another, my grandmother looked directly at me, pointed her finger firmly in the air towards my heart and said, “She’s a little a bit good and a little bit bad, just like you.” And then her beautiful, round, gentle and unblemished face smiled slowly and warmly. Wow, what a powerful moment that was in my life. What my grandmother was trying to remind me of was about being compassionate. In that moment I was not choosing empathy and compassion but instead choosing to be judgmental and better than. I have thought about this moment on and off for many years and I am so thankful to have had that amazing lady play the role of grandma in my life. Yet I still went on comparing my existence with others, for many years, thinking about how fortunate I was. But was I?

I met Meghan when I was forty-seven and she was in her twenties. She and I were taking a twelve-week course together modeled after Lynn Grabhorn’s book Excuse Me, Your Life is Waiting, and would continue to see each other once a week. I was captivated by her sturdy posture as she sat to the table, her quiet composure, and eventually her deep sultry voice. She wore colourful green eye-shadow that took in her entire deep and full eyelids and she wore edgy silver jewelry and high heels. She looked like she should be on the arm of Ozzy Osbourne. One evening, Meghan was retelling a life story that touched my heart so deeply that I felt an immediate heaviness in my stomach causing me to think I might vomit. My head dropped to look down and I covered my mouth. Just as I was slipping into my usual pattern of feeling sorry, I looked directly at this stunningly beautiful and courageous woman and realized how fine she was. I mean really fine… more than okay… Why on earth should I feel sorry for her? It finally made no sense to me and I sensed the harm that it might do to Meghan’s and my relationship and I easily and readily slipped into an authentic feeling of compassion for this shared journey that she and I were on. My stomach settled down. My head rose. I sat taller and I could feel a warm smile emitting beyond my entire being. I loved this lady sitting next to me and I had no right to feel sorry for her.

I believe that we are here on purpose to be in relationship with others for our highest and greatest good. Compassion is a part of that picture and is exempt of judgmental beliefs and I am utmost grateful to Meghan for offering me this gift in order that I could begin being compassionate.

…Ellyn

There Are No Excuses for Being a Snob

2011-01-19T13:34:00.000-08:00

This morning a good friend gave me a virtual slap in the face. I am not sure if he realizes this or not, but it was a gift that I am grateful for. We were discussing advancing communications technology and our mutual love of gadgets and I was listing off all of the “stuff” that my teens have. He began to wonder about those children who come from “have-not” environments and at what a disadvantage they might be. His thinking immediately went into a “what can I do” mode. Mine did not. My thinking immediately judged particular families I have known, who do not provide the basic nutritional needs nor do they provide proper winter clothing for their children and yet with the resources that they do have, they buy them lots of electronic gadgets.

I live an abundant life and am grateful to be able to give my children so much and in turn I know how grateful they are to have a safe and loving home that provides them, not only with their basic needs, but many wants. When one has the extra wants, it is easy to say that love, food, and shelter should always be the priority before any of the extras, but these are those privileged life eyes that I am looking through. And it is not for me to judge. Just as I am parenting to the best of my abilities, in this moment, with what I know right now, so are other parents. Just as my heart burst with joy when my son opened up his electronic drum kit and my daughter her iPad, so do other parents’ hearts burst with joy to watch their children open up their treasures.

There is no hierarchy in this life that we live, no one person is better or worse than another and there are no excuses for being a snob and judging someone else’s way of parenting.

Thanks Tim for stopping me in my tracks.

…Ellyn

Is Store Bought Milk a Faux Food?

2011-01-18T14:26:00.000-08:00

I was raised in a society that impressed upon me that I should drink milk. If I did not, I would surely perish and could eventually end up with hip or knee replacement surgeries due to a deterioration of my bones. I loved milk and could drink copious amounts of it and so I never considered not drinking it. However, when my daughter was three years old and was suffering from severe tummy aches, we began a journey to discover what the cause was and I started to research milk and whether or not it was something that we should purchase from the store.

We live on a farm with great storage facilities and eat mostly homegrown food. As a young adult, good food had been important to me and after having children it became more so. I knew about and continued to research and study foods that were best for our entire bodies, as well as listen to my own body and teach my children to listen to theirs. My research surrounding milk, conflicted with a belief that had been ingrained in me from the time that I was a youngster.

Initially, I decided to look at consuming milk from a biological perspective. How many animals consume another animal’s milk? Other than in times of need like when another animal is mothering, only human animals drink another animal’s milk. However, our physical/cognitive development is markedly different from other animals too and so this line of querying ended abruptly.

I then asked the question: Is store bought milk so highly processed and regulated that it has become a faux food?

What I discovered is that milk that exists on the grocery store shelf may:

1. Come from places where cattle are given antibiotics in the event that the cow has mastitis or other infections and research suggests that these antibiotics show up in the milk?

2. Come from animals that have been given growth hormones, which can survive pasteurization and thereby be consumed by us.

3. Come from animals that never see the light of day.

Even with all of the research and information that exists, I continue to struggle with whether I am doing a disservice to my children by not letting them drink store bought milk and I ask you to join with me in this discussion. What are your thoughts?

…Ellyn

My "Unravelling Journey" inspired by the words of Brené Brown

2011-01-17T13:08:00.000-08:00

The term mid-life crisis has irritated me for as long as I can remember, and yet I never substituted it with another term. I just refused to use it aloud. Until recently that is, when I understood it to be more like an awakening… or an opportunity that tends to occur in mid-life. Brené Brown’s research suggests that this opportunity or “unraveling journey” as she calls it, can occur at other times in our lives as well:

· marriage

· divorce

· becoming a parent

· recovery

· moving

· an empty nest

· retiring

· experiencing loss or trauma

· working at a soul-sucking job

In October of my 46^th year, I could only seem to cope with each moment that was before me. My life had reached an all time high with regard to how full my schedule was and what I demanded of myself. I could not even imagine how I was going to simplify everything.

Many years prior, upon graduation and armed with my BEd., I was fully immersed in my first paid teaching position, only having myself to care for. I spent one evening a week letting all of the tension drain from my being by indulging in a Reflexology treatment. At age forty-six, I looked back and shook my head wondering what possible tension could I have had then? And, how extravagant it was to put money like that just on me! It was then that I noticed a little advertisement in our local paper featuring a Reflexologist who was offering her services for new clients at half cost. I hadn’t been to one in years! I phoned and made an appointment immediately, asked her directions, made room in my schedule and set off the next day to feel miraculously better. Better that is, if I could find the place. She had mentioned that she lived in a mobile home and the only mobile home park that I could think of was not where I could find her. Being that I was in such a dark place, I would have normally given up, gone home and put the idea behind me. But for some odd reason, I did not and instead drove to the Recreation Centre where I asked the Receptionist if she knew of all of the healing practitioners in the town and if so what their phone numbers were. She did not know the Reflexologist that I was speaking of. I was deflated and ready to walk out when I mentioned that the ad had been in the previous week’s paper of which she happened to have a copy of right there. I found the ad, called Michele and offered to rebook as I was now ten minutes late. She insisted that I come over, corrected my directions and told me to breathe easily.

I did.

When I arrived and laid my body on her massage table, I closed my eyes and felt peace - instantly. She placed her warm, strong hands on my feet and tears began to pour uncontrollably from my eyes and she said, “Oh Ellyn, I should have done a clearing on you first.” I did not even know what she was talking about and all I wanted was for her to be quiet, rub my feet and make me feel better. I lay there in silence while she worked on me for two to three hours. When it was over, I did not even know what to say or how to thank her. All I knew is that I wanted to come back for this clearing that she spoke about. After paying Michele a minute amount and gathering some literature, I got into my vehicle to drive the half hour it would take to get home. The sun shone brighter and although it would only be temporary, I was smiling - genuinely.

This was to be the beginning of my “unraveling journey”…

...Ellyn

Current Running Program - More Challenging

2011-01-07T12:09:00.000-08:00

Once I could easily and readily run 5km in 25 minutes, I decided that maybe I should run further... faster... I tried 8k's... 10 k's... I ran with friends who were experienced marathon runners. I found none of this satisfying and returned to John Stanton's book for a program that would suit me. Once again inspired by his philosophy, I created this program for myself. This is the one I continue to turn to when I haven't run for in a while.

Week 1 - Run 5 minutes/walk 1 minute x 4 sets 3-4 days a week
Week 2 - Run 7 minutes/walk 1 minute x 3 sets 3-4 days a week
Week 3 - Run 10 minutes/walk 1 minute x 2 sets 3-4 days a week
Week 4 - Run 20 minutes non-stop 3-4 days a week
Week 5 - Run 20 minutes non-stop 4 days a week
Week 6 - Run 22 minutes non-stop 4 days a week
Week 7 - Run 24 minutes non-stop 4 days a week
Week 8 - Run 26 minutes non-stop 4 days a week
Week 9 - Run 28 minutes non-stop 4 days a week
Week 10 - Run 30 minutes non-stop 4 days a week

This has become an incredibly satisfying running program that I supplement with indoor fitness on poor weather days.

...Ellyn

My Running Program

2011-01-04T09:42:00.000-08:00

Inspired by @laurenacarlton , I felt compelled to post this….

When my youngest child entered Grade One I had discovered that I had become an uncomfortable size 14 with poor eating habits not allowing myself to ever feel hungry – snacking whenever I wanted on whatever I wanted. I knew it was time for a change but I live 50 km from the nearest pool, gym or program and for my own peace of being, I still needed to be available to my children when they were home from school. I taught two days a week and decided to run on the three weekdays that I did not teach. I could barely breathe and could only run for short stints when I heard about John Stanton a confirmed couch potato who started the chain of stores and programs called The Running Room. Although he has inspired many marathon runners, his goal has never been to create them but to assist in helping people get off of the sofa. What follows is my program, that was inspired by John, that I have followed for 7 years now without injury or ever getting bored with running.

Week 1 – 1 minute run/1 minute walk x 10 - 3 days a week

Week 2 – 2 minute run/1 minute walk x 6 – 3 days a week

Week 3 – 3 minute run/1 minute walk x 5 – 3 days a week

Week 4 – 4 minute run/1 minute walk x 4 – 3 days a week

Week 5 – 5 minute run/1 minute walk x 3 – 3 days a week

At this point I discovered that I could and wanted to increase it to 4 days a week and I wanted to run in a 5km race and began to train for my first one.

Week 6 – 6 minute run/1 minute walk x 3 – 4 days a week

Week 7 – 8 minute run/1 minute walk x 2 – 4 days a week

Week 8 – 10 minute run/1 minute walk x 2 – 4 days a week

Week 9 – 20 minute non-stop run – 4 days a week

If this is too difficult a task to start with, one can start with an even better/slower program suited to them. If one needed to repeat a week – one should!

After 9 weeks, I was able to continue to add time and km and started to run 5 km in 25-30 minutes – the first race I ran was that spring - 5km in 25 minutes. My goal has always been to just treat my heart well and run for health – although I have run up to 21 km in one run, it is not my preference to do so. It took me a couple of years to drop in size to an 8 and for four years am a size 6-8 depending on the cut of the clothes.

…Ellyn

One of Lauren’s Blogs http://mommyisrocknroll.com/

A few words about John Stanton http://www.runningroom.com/hm/inside.php?id=3035

Shared Inspirations

2010-10-06T12:10:00.000-07:00

After twenty-one years of teaching and on completion of my Masters in Educational Leadership, I made the choice to work at home. I have teenagers who are passionate about their pursuits and I knew that I would spread myself too thinly if I accepted a job that required me to work according to a schedule other than my family schedule. Not everyone is able to make this choice nor do they have the desire to and so I am grateful that I was able to honour my desire.

I am a passionate homemaker.

I coined this phrase and referred to myself as this long before I ever came across this blog Passionate Homemaking of which I actively follow and encourage you to follow as well. It is this “same idea” phenomenon that I address today.

When I graduated from University with my first degree and embarked on teaching for a living, I realized that I had moved seven times in two years. My cats were getting used to this and loved playing in and among the boxes. This is when I decided to write a children’s story about a little girl who was fussed and stressed about moving but through the story begins to envelop the move by observing and playing with her cat who, like my cats, plays in and among the packing boxes. I thought it was a brilliant and supportive story and I envisioned the entire photo essay. One day while book browsing with a friend, I rounded a shelf in a beloved independent wee bookstore, only to scream out loud. My friend rushed over to see what was wrong and all I could do was point at the picture book on the shelf. There before us was My Cat Likes to Hide in Boxes by Eve Sutton and Lynley Dodd. How was it possible that someone who lived on the other side of the world from me could have the same idea? Even though Sutton and Dodd’s book was slightly different from mine, it was too similar. I was absolutely and completely deflated so much so that I never did write that children’s book. However, being the granddaughter of an inventor who never saw all of his innovations brought to fruition, I did begin to realize that creative people around the world and over time, would continue to have parallel ideas that would fit each particular needs and that those inspirations might resonate within each one so deeply that they would need to express them in some manner - even if they were similar.

Have you had an inspiration that someone else has also dreamed?

…Ellyn

My Cat Likes to Hide in Boxes

Challenges...

2010-09-29T11:39:00.000-07:00

My just turned fourteen year old daughter Jillian in grade eight, has challenges on this earth that are very different from mine. These challenges of hers cause me to struggle with how to guide her.

The moment that the doctor placed that baby on my body my arms enveloping her, I felt a frightening surge of utmost responsibility. It was now my job to see to it that she lived in a world where she could do anything that she wanted to do without external society-created barriers. A world where each individual was honoured for her or his gifts. This has been one of my challenges, especially living in what is sometimes considered “Red Necked” rural Alberta.

Jillian was a quiet and demure wee baby who never cried. She had this quiet little whimper that would emit when she needed something – which was rare. At one year of age, she sat on the entryway step beside the key hook and spent one hour taking each key off, investigating it, lining each one up neatly beside her until they were all off of the hook and then she proceeded to put them back on the hook one at a time. She did this silently over and over again for one hour until her dad walked in the door to disrupt the activity. I’ve always wondered how long that one year old would have sat there otherwise. At two years of age she could sing full and complete songs and just belt them out from way down deep inside of her. At three years of age, Jillian received an office in a box for a gift from my mom. We had a little desk in the dining room and she would sit at it for hours and hours, making notes, paper clipping notes together, cutting and filing and organizing. It was also at three that she began to have severe stomach aches and we started a long journey to see what the cause of these were. At age five, she sat with small Tupperware® containers and a collection of marbles and she played with these items on the living room floor, one day for five hours, in a solitary state, sorting and pouring and transferring from one container to another.

And still at this age even, she rarely cried. She was so composed all of the time. No highs, no lows.

We continued working through the tummy ache issue. We tried everything with conventional doctors, that one can imagine, and then we sought alternative methods. I took Jillian to an amazing Intuitive who is also a therapeutic massage therapist. What she told me was life altering. She felt that Jillian harboured emotions and that they sat in that wee tummy of hers, festering. This made more sense than anything we had heard. This composed wee girly of mine wasn’t releasing her emotions and she was choosing to be sedentary more than physical, using her mind much and not expressing outwardly. Following the Intuitive’s wise guidance and over her short life here, we have provided her with many opportunities to emote and to release, be it helping to connect her with people to teach her how to meditate, providing her with tools and opportunities to write but also mandating and modeling daily physical activity as a way to release.

Starting School - Jillian could hardly wait to get to school and when the bus arrived for her first day, she raced to it! This was a memorable outburst of emotion. She could already read but anticipated learning about the entire world and could barely contain herself. It didn’t happen in the way that she had hoped. She was boxed in. In September of her grade one year she wrote this,

“There once was a beautiful rare butterfly that wanted to fly. But someone captured it and caged it and didn’t let it out. And the butterfly was sad.”

My heart broke and I shared it with her teacher with the hope that we could find a way to work together to help my wee six year old. We both cried and the teacher was just plain shocked, having no idea that my girly was dying inside. I didn’t feel as if I was doing a very good job of paving a path for her to do anything that she wanted. We joined as a team and began to look for new learning opportunities for Jillian. I put her on a waiting list for private vocal lessons and she began playing the piano. Music is powerful and has played a huge role in her life. Through music, she has met three important mentors in her life for which I am grateful. Thanks to a wonderful grade three and four teacher, a few years soared by smoothly. In grade five Jillian had a classroom teacher who placed her up on a pedestal. He was in awe of her dedication to a task and allowed her to explore and take control of her own learning. Although I am grateful for so much of what he offered her, by putting her up on a pedestal, he also facilitated something that I didn’t like. Jillian began to behave as if she had something inside of her that was better than others. For as much as I tried to instill in her that she had just discovered some of her gifts early, that everyone has gifts and that those gifts are not subject to some sort of evaluation scale but work in harmony to bring about a healthy good balance to our world, she doubted me. After all she could think quickly on her toes and respond accordingly causing many adults around her to just back down and for kids to support her. Grade six was upon her where she met a teacher who had personality clashes with many students, fellow teachers and parents and made the decision to enter into power struggles with Jillian. This year Jillian gains control of the class and we deal with bullying issues with Jillian being the bully. With guidance and support from a wise friend and with my ability to reach out and research, Jillian and I begin working through this and by November, the bullying is no longer evident.

Junior High starts and she is in a room with her easy going, kind-hearted older brother and a teacher who has his own challenges in this world that collide with his ability to teach. Once again she begins to behave as if she knows “it” all and is better than others. Does she believe this? Not when we have heart to heart, one on one discussions. And so… we have many, and spend oodles of time together just the two of us. However her condescending behaviour towards the teacher continues.

Today, she is fourteen in grade eight, has a brilliant mind, beautiful voice and yet she continues to feel like a caged butterfly – I know this and know not what to do… and so this morning before school and inspired by one of my mentors, I challenged her – “Today”, I said. “I want you to look for the best in three people that you usually do not see the best in… feel how your life changes for the better.”

I am at a loss and feel that I should know what to do after all I am the mom - My invitation to you is to help guide me so that I can continue to guide her…

Thank you.

…Ellyn

My Toothless Butterfly Girly

Locking Others Out?

2010-09-20T12:59:00.000-07:00

When my son Max was five-years old, I took him to a public swimming pool in the city. We had a blast swimming but when we came out, our sandals were gone from the shoe shelf. The woman at the desk said that we should never have left them there and to remember to always take them with us in the change room and lock them in the locker. Being raised in the city, I should have known this but it had escaped me as I was now very much a rural mom. What I neglected to initially realize was that it was my young Max who was absolutely shocked, puzzled and devastated that someone may have taken our sandals - his sandals! Surprised that someone would take something that did not belong to him or her.

Now fast forward ten years with Max in high school – a new town... a new set of students... At first he decided he didn’t want a lock on his locker. He is trusting and optimistic and I am grateful that at fifteen he is this. Following the second day of school, Max arrived home dismayed that others might deliberately take something from someone else or that they would switch locks, put locks on backwards making it difficult to open and deliberately intend to cause frustration in someone else. I just smiled softly and listened marveling at this fella of mine who continues to have great faith in people. However, after a week, he decided that he needs a lock. Nothing has been taken from him and he is confident that no one will wreak any havoc with his stuff but he now senses the need to lock out others. In some small way, I feel as if I have lost a little part of this amazing soul whom I call son.

…Ellyn

Max doing something he is great at - performing!

I welcome your thoughts on the issue of locking others out, faith in people and/or all things parenting...

Early Learnings...

2010-07-29T16:35:00.000-07:00

When you are raised on a farm, you learn to make hay while the sun shines - or so the saying goes...
Timing is everything on a farm and it does not matter if you are sick or tired or sore. If it is July and the sun is shining, you make hay. If the canola has finished flowering and the seed is ready to be plucked and the weather is just right, you harvest.
But I wasn't raised on a farm and so I have struggled with this early learned beahviour of my husband's.

My children however are being raised here and so when we were gifted with a load of white birch that had been knocked down already, we gratefully drove the tractor to the neighbour's coulee and began to load it and haul it home. We proceeded to have the neighbours over for dinner the next evening and gave them a bottle of their beverage of choice. This is how life works here. We piled the birch high and today, even though it is +32• Celsius outdoors, my 15-year old is chopping firewood for the winter. We cannot have this lovely wood rotting and time is of the essence.

My 15-year old Max never complains, does every job I ask of him, asks if there is anything else that he can do and continues to marvel at the wonders within a job and so I am always puzzled about how to "reward" him... Or should I?

My Marvellous Max!

Max receives an allowance for being a part of this family, because he is a teen and needs to have his own money for stuff. He does not get money for specific work at all. He was asked to work for a wage at a local business for the summer but I actually voted, "No!"And I was adamant that work for a wage will come soon enough. So as he chops away at the wood, and works for all of us, he calls to me, "Hey mom, look at the rings on this one! I wonder how old it is?" and "Hey cool, I can actually see my name in the lines of this one." I smile and enjoy his wonderment and am grateful to have him home lots this summer... Work will come soon enough.

...Ellyn

The Dance

2010-07-19T09:51:00.000-07:00

I love the process of life. The planting, hoeing, tilling of the garden… The brainstorming, free writing, editing of my words… The planning, cleaning, preparations of a celebration… The choosing, chopping, sautéing, blending of ingredients for a recipe… The observing, listening, teaching, learning of child rearing… The winding expedition an author leads me on through characters in a story that I refuse to finish because I am not done with the journey that the book is taking me on… The chatter of the birds, the sway of the wind through the poplars and the redolence of the water hazards as I take to the golf course with a beer in my cup holder… The connection of my heart to my foot to the boot to my ski to the snow to the mountain to the Universe as I glide down the slope… The unfolding joy as my eyes open for the day and the gratefulness of a warm comfortable bed as my eyes close for the night…

My husband Brent works tirelessly to create a certain lifestyle and then wants to just rest and enjoy it. He loves the harvest… The celebration with friends… The feeling of a full stomach after a delicious meal… Happy, content well-behaved children…. The end of a very good golf game…

My husband likes a finished product…

And so, we dance…

Marriage is all about this dance – how do we honour what is important to our partner without giving up of ourselves?

I invite you to dialogue along with me and tell me about the dance with your partner…

...Ellyn

Out of Boredom Comes Creativity...

2010-06-11T13:59:00.000-07:00

Out of boredom comes creativity.

Like many of my generation, I have experienced this first hand but also have observed it vicariously through children, as a teacher and as a parent and I feel fortunate to have discovered this years ago. Not only did I not allow the words "I'm bored" uttered in my presence but when sensing the feelings from my children, sent them out to be physical. Sometimes I joined them but more often than not, I let them be...

As a parent I choose NOT to fill up my children's schedules so that they have little time at home creating their own schedule. Sure I have involved them in organized activities in order to introduce them to things that might strike a chord in them, help them to see that they have particular gifts and talents that can be offered for the greater good in their lives and to help teach them about how to be in community. But... not so much so that they are unable to make creative choices when they are all alone at home with oodles of time - like during the summer. Until this year, when at the request of my teens, the television did not come on for them during the school week and on weekends it was limited. Yes they have gaming devices but the hand held ones were restricted to vehicle use and the Wii is just a sometime thing that I have been fortunate not to have to regulate.

What I do have are four treehouses in the yard, three of them built by Max and Jillian, a trampoline, tire swing, trapeze, cement pad with basketball net, scrap lumber and metal heap, a shed with tools, a paintball course built by my 15 year old, bikes, hoses hooked up to a creek and a dugout for what would seem unlimited water, and this year we will add a slackline. We have had a zipline built by my son and his friend, a variety of BMX courses, again built by Max as well as a tightrope. And I am privileged to live in a community where this is a typical yard. By now you may have gathered that I live rurally. However, I would hope that living in the city wouldn't change how I have parented but that I would look to different opportunities for them to envelop the gift of creativity as well as the gift of relying on oneself for motivation.

Two treehouses connected by rope swing...

How does a parent go about instilling this in children?

by resisting the desire to fill up a child's schedule.

by resisting the desire to offer suggestions when they seem bored - instead let them know that you have great faith in them that they will be able to fill their time with constructive activities and that you can hardly wait to hear all about their endeavors and adventures.

daydream with them. (I learned this from Max when he was in grade one and a wise health care professional expounded with, "He's got the gift of daydreaming!")

ask them for their game plan for the summer. It doesn't mean that they have to meet every goal but just to have some set out. (Once again, I learned this from my son who is a goal-setter and sets one surrounding his athletics, music and school.)

model the behaviour that you want to see - determine what your own summer goals are?

As a collective, we are raising children and doing so to the best of our abilities right here and now and we can all improve on the ways in which we parent. I am in no way suggesting that I am doing everything "right" because, of course, I am not. I too am just muddling along the path in this game that we call parenting.

Above all else, as Garvin states, "kids need to be kids while they're kids", summer is about being wild and free, creative and... mostly barefoot.

...Ellyn

Thanks to my friend Linda Garvin for her continual teachings...

Committed...

2010-06-09T13:05:00.000-07:00

A book that seems to have caught my attention with utmost interest these days, is Committed by Elizabeth Gilbert. I find it fascinating when a book crosses my path and resonates alarmingly so. The research that Elizabeth has conducted surrounding the history of marriage is extensive and compelling. Not only does she include a secular look at marriage over time but also the path that various organized religious groups have followed and espoused...

While reading this I find it interesting to have been contacted by two friends evaluating their own relationship with their respective partners in a discerning manner and what has captivated me mostly is how deeply ingrained our values are from the people we grew up with.

From my parents, I gleaned that one should be everything to one's partner. Is this unrealistic? Of course. Did they teach this to me? No, but it is what I learned...

As Elizabeth states in this unfolding story of a woman coming to grips with the idea of marriage, she does "not need a man in almost many of the ways that women have needed men over the centuries." She does "not need him to protect [her] physically because [she lives] in one of the safest societies on earth." She does "not need him to provide for [her] financially, because [she has] always been the winner of [her] own bread." In general terms a woman does not need a man to extend her "circle of kinship" nor "father her children".

If this is so in 2010, what then do I need in a marriage?

And... as husband and wife, what role do we play in each others' lives?

Gilbert believes that it comes down to companionship and adoring each other in the commitment of marriage.

As for me, I know that I want to share my life experiences and passions with my husband in hopes that he too will find joy in sharing his life experiences and passions with me. And I feel gratification in knowing that we could do this for the rest of our lives. Growing old through experiences together...

I know some who married in order to escape a situation, have a child, fill a need... When that desire no longer needs to be filled, when the child has grown etc. then what?

How important is the reason why one marries? Why did you marry? Have you had to reassess your marriage?

...Ellyn

That Original Feeling...

2010-03-28T15:38:00.000-07:00

Recently a friend remarked on how his grandparents had been married for sixty-eight years and counting. This hit a chord inside of me. A very deep resounding chord. It struck me so much so that I felt compelled to bow in awe.

Many years ago now, I gave up wondering why certain people chose to marry each other and how some couples seemed to stay together while others did not. Back then, I had come to the realization that I couldn’t begin to comprehend the complexities of love, devotion, commitment, needs, beliefs… But sixty-eight years married is an amazing accomplishment indeed and I began to think about the challenges that they might have faced together or individually within that marriage.

On April 10th, my husband and I will have been married for seventeen years and I remember the day that I fell in love with him. Actually, I remember the moment. I was sitting in a hospital bed and this amazing man that I had known for only six weeks, dashed around the corner of my semi-private room divider with hope resting on his entire face, that I was okay. I was seated in bed and… I was more than okay. I grinned and just took this man in, watching his every move, listening to his every word. His care and concern for me wasn’t new. I had been fortunate to have been well loved my entire life and had had other men in my life who held me in high esteem. But somehow, this felt different. Brent and I were in our thirties with well-established careers, knew our strengths and what we wanted in life, when our paths intersected and we both knew that it felt right being together.

Now fast-forward eighteen years from the first time I met him and with two beautiful children that we have been gifted, the greatest challenge I face is to take the time to allow that awestruck feeling to continue to permeate my being, to not take him for granted and become complacent, to hold on to that respect that I have always held for him and to do so with gratefulness and joy. And so as I sit here contemplating my life in this marriage our girly asks if she can turn some music on. “Of course” is my response and the song that rings out is Natasha Bedingfield’s, which causes me to smile at this remarkable Universe of ours and I long for his arms to surround me because that original feeling never went away…

...Ellyn

Equipping the Child for the Path...

2010-03-12T11:58:00.000-08:00

As a Kindergarten teacher, when a child entered my classroom never having held a pair of scissors or not knowing how to tie her shoes, I felt it was my responsibility to teach those skills with support and guidance. It was not for me to judge that that child hadn’t been taught those skills at home before coming to school, but to assist in equipping the child with the skills that would be needed as she moved forth in life.
I feel the same way about preparing a child for entering the Internet and encourage you to ponder David Truss’ words that follow. David can be found at http://pairadimes.davidtruss.com where he provides anyone in need with this available poster.

We Filter Websites At School!
• Students will not know what to do when they are at home and they come across malicious or inappropriate websites.
• Searches may confuse and overwhelm students at home as they will be in unfamiliar territory.
• While at school students will not be able to use many interesting and exciting websites that they can use at home.
• At school we will not be able to help students who have issues with social software sites like Facebook.
• Because we filter websites at school we cannot prepare your child to be net savvy. That responsibility now rests firmly on your shoulders. Good Luck!
~David Truss

And so... I continue to guide my own children with regard to discerning information, using security features, and knowing that it is a joyous and interesting privilege to have Internet use. Will they be duped by possible negative forces that exist? Possibly, but they also will know procedures that they can act on and that they can always ask me for assistance with the handling of a particular online situation.

...Ellyn

The Internet is about… People

2010-01-18T14:49:00.000-08:00

If, for many reasons, you view the Internet in a guarded manner and hold some negativity towards the advent of social media, you might feel anxiety surrounding these thoughts.

Many face-to-face discussions that I have been involved in recently, suggests just this. Some colleagues and friends frown upon my idea of having a class in school surrounding the teaching of social media. Please read Nicholas Bramble’s article entitled Fifth Period is Facebook These same friends and colleagues seem to think that I have my head in the sand or maybe the clouds - and yet…

I have developed a close relationship with a network of people residing around the globe and view the evolution of Social Media as a tool that assists me in engaging with these people, strengthening my beliefs, broadening my perspective and intensifying my commitment to personal and professional growth and I choose to use it as such, in what I see as a positive endeavour. Because of this, I would like to find out from youth, how they are using social media and encourage and teach them how to continue to use it in a beneficial manner…

Being that I have taught for the better part of the last twenty-three years, I believe that education is the key to learning about… changing, and/or strengthening our views and our actions. If the powers that be who make the decisions in education, would “stop thinking about how to repress the huge amounts of intellectual and social energy kids devote to social media and start thinking about how to channel that energy away from causing trouble and toward getting more out of their classes” (Bramble, 2009), then we may just create the opportunity to break down that wall that stands between many educators and students and see the Internet for what it truly is…

…Ellyn

Thoughts About A Woman I Called Mom...

2010-01-11T10:41:00.000-08:00

Books are made so differently now… This once dark green, now faded, copy of The Pitman Advanced Dictation Course, found its way into my hands this morning as I marveled at our little home library that my thirteen year old decided to organize yesterday.

The course book has no publication date stated in it and yet I know that my mother used in it 1957 when she attended the Oshawa Young Women’s Business College, also referred to as secretarial school.

As I leaf through the pages of shorthand squiggles that mean absolutely nothing to me, I wander back to the opening page where my mother has written her name, address and phone number. These are the squiggles that hold me captive. Repeatedly, I run my fingers over her first name… Now that she has left this earth, any scrap of who she was here, is what enthralls me.

I knew her as mom but she was more than just that, she had to be!

I invite you to engage in dialogue with me about your loved ones who no longer walk this earth... Hmm - or do they?

…Ellyn