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Tuesday, February 5, 2013

I think that his eyes were blue...


Many years ago and while working with children, I was required to have a complete RCMP security clearance. Knowing that I have a spotlessly clean record and with my two children in tow, I headed to the local detachment to have this done. When the receptionist inquired, quite loudly, if I had been known by any other name, I froze. My two little kidlets were standing beside me and so I paused and looked her in the eyes with my very wide eyes and nodded. She was immediately compassionate and pushed a blank piece of paper and pen towards me and I wrote, I was married before but I haven’t told my little kids yet. She just pointed to the paper and told me to write it down. I was grateful for her kind-hearted way with me, and when the kids went to bed that night, Brent and I decided that it was time to tell them. 
No big deal. 
The funny thing about kids is, some things are a big deal. They wanted details. The funny thing about me was, I couldn’t remember much. 
Among other details, I actually had to calculate how long Ted and I had been together, and I still cannot remember the date of when I was married.
I was in University when I fell in love with Ted and I know that I still love him today. He was fun and brilliant and I loved his family. We were only supposed to be together for the time that we were together. The timing of our individual lives just didn’t work. I used to say that I was devastated when he left me, but in actuality no one is really devastated, and I was just deeply saddened.
I learned so much about life, relationships, and myself while Ted and I were together, but more importantly, I learned more about these things when we separated. I’m grateful for the time that I had with him and that he let me go so that I could live this life to the fullest of my being.
Thank you Ted, wherever you are…
~ Ellyn