There Are No Excuses for Being a Snob

This morning a good friend gave me a virtual slap in the face. I am not sure if he realizes this or not, but it was a gift that I am grateful for. We were discussing advancing communications technology and our mutual love of gadgets and I was listing off all of the “stuff” that my teens have. He began to wonder about those children who come from “have-not” environments and at what a disadvantage they might be. His thinking immediately went into a “what can I do” mode. Mine did not. My thinking immediately judged particular families I have known, who do not provide the basic nutritional needs nor do they provide proper winter clothing for their children and yet with the resources that they do have, they buy them lots of electronic gadgets.

I live an abundant life and am grateful to be able to give my children so much and in turn I know how grateful they are to have a safe and loving home that provides them, not only with their basic needs, but many wants. When one has the extra wants, it is easy to say that love, food, and shelter should always be the priority before any of the extras, but these are those privileged life eyes that I am looking through. And it is not for me to judge. Just as I am parenting to the best of my abilities, in this moment, with what I know right now, so are other parents. Just as my heart burst with joy when my son opened up his electronic drum kit and my daughter her iPad, so do other parents’ hearts burst with joy to watch their children open up their treasures.

There is no hierarchy in this life that we live, no one person is better or worse than another and there are no excuses for being a snob and judging someone else’s way of parenting.

Thanks Tim for stopping me in my tracks.

…Ellyn

Is Store Bought Milk a Faux Food?

I was raised in a society that impressed upon me that I should drink milk. If I did not, I would surely perish and could eventually end up with hip or knee replacement surgeries due to a deterioration of my bones. I loved milk and could drink copious amounts of it and so I never considered not drinking it. However, when my daughter was three years old and was suffering from severe tummy aches, we began a journey to discover what the cause was and I started to research milk and whether or not it was something that we should purchase from the store. 

We live on a farm with great storage facilities and eat mostly homegrown food.  As a young adult, good food had been important to me and after having children it became more so. I knew about and continued to research and study foods that were best for our entire bodies, as well as listen to my own body and teach my children to listen to theirs. My research surrounding milk, conflicted with a belief that had been ingrained in me from the time that I was a youngster.

Initially, I decided to look at consuming milk from a biological perspective. How many animals consume another animal’s milk?  Other than in times of need like when another animal is mothering, only human animals drink another animal’s milk. However, our physical/cognitive development is markedly different from other animals too and so this line of querying ended abruptly.

I then asked the question: Is store bought milk so highly processed and regulated that it has become a faux food?

What I discovered is that milk that exists on the grocery store shelf may:

1.     Come from places where cattle are given antibiotics in the event that the cow has mastitis or other infections and research suggests that these antibiotics show up in the milk?

2.     Come from animals that have been given growth hormones, which can survive pasteurization and thereby be consumed by us.

3.      Come from animals that never see the light of day.

Even with all of the research and information that exists, I continue to struggle with whether I am doing a disservice to my children by not letting them drink store bought milk and I ask you to join with me in this discussion. What are your thoughts?

…Ellyn

My "Unravelling Journey" inspired by the words of Brené Brown

The term mid-life crisis has irritated me for as long as I can remember, and yet I never substituted it with another term. I just refused to use it aloud. Until recently that is, when I understood it to be more like an awakening… or an opportunity that tends to occur in mid-life. Brené Brown’s research suggests that this opportunity or “unraveling journey” as she calls it, can occur at other times in our lives as well:

·        marriage

·        divorce

·        becoming a parent

·        recovery

·        moving

·        an empty nest

·        retiring

·        experiencing loss or trauma

·        working at a soul-sucking job

In October of my 46^th year, I could only seem to cope with each moment that was before me. My life had reached an all time high with regard to how full my schedule was and what I demanded of myself. I could not even imagine how I was going to simplify everything.

Many years prior, upon graduation and armed with my BEd., I was fully immersed in my first paid teaching position, only having myself to care for. I spent one evening a week letting all of the tension drain from my being by indulging in a Reflexology treatment. At age forty-six, I looked back and shook my head wondering what possible tension could I have had then? And, how extravagant it was to put money like that just on me! It was then that I noticed a little advertisement in our local paper featuring a Reflexologist who was offering her services for new clients at half cost. I hadn’t been to one in years! I phoned and made an appointment immediately, asked her directions, made room in my schedule and set off the next day to feel miraculously better.  Better that is, if I could find the place. She had mentioned that she lived in a mobile home and the only mobile home park that I could think of was not where I could find her. Being that I was in such a dark place, I would have normally given up, gone home and put the idea behind me. But for some odd reason, I did not and instead drove to the Recreation Centre where I asked the Receptionist if she knew of all of the healing practitioners in the town and if so what their phone numbers were. She did not know the Reflexologist that I was speaking of. I was deflated and ready to walk out when I mentioned that the ad had been in the previous week’s paper of which she happened to have a copy of right there. I found the ad, called Michele and offered to rebook as I was now ten minutes late. She insisted that I come over, corrected my directions and told me to breathe easily.

I did.

When I arrived and laid my body on her massage table, I closed my eyes and felt peace - instantly. She placed her warm, strong hands on my feet and tears began to pour uncontrollably from my eyes and she said, “Oh Ellyn, I should have done a clearing on you first.” I did not even know what she was talking about and all I wanted was for her to be quiet, rub my feet and make me feel better. I lay there in silence while she worked on me for two to three hours. When it was over, I did not even know what to say or how to thank her. All I knew is that I wanted to come back for this clearing that she spoke about. After paying Michele a minute amount and gathering some literature, I got into my vehicle to drive the half hour it would take to get home. The sun shone brighter and although it would only be temporary, I was smiling - genuinely.

This was to be the beginning of my “unraveling journey”…

                  ...Ellyn

Current Running Program - More Challenging

Once I could easily and readily run 5km in 25 minutes, I decided that maybe I should run further... faster... I tried 8k's... 10 k's... I ran with friends who were experienced marathon runners. I found none of this satisfying and returned to John Stanton's book for a program that would suit me. Once again inspired by his philosophy, I created this program for myself. This is the one I continue to turn to when I haven't run for in a while.

Week 1 - Run 5 minutes/walk 1 minute x 4 sets 3-4 days a week
Week 2 - Run 7 minutes/walk 1 minute x 3 sets 3-4 days a week
Week 3 - Run 10 minutes/walk 1 minute x 2 sets 3-4 days a week
Week 4 - Run 20 minutes non-stop 3-4 days a week
Week 5 - Run 20 minutes non-stop 4 days a week
Week 6 - Run 22 minutes non-stop 4 days a week 
Week 7 - Run 24 minutes non-stop 4 days a week
Week 8 - Run 26 minutes non-stop 4 days a week 
Week 9 - Run 28 minutes non-stop 4 days a week
Week 10 - Run 30 minutes non-stop 4 days a week 

This has become an incredibly satisfying running program that I supplement with indoor fitness on poor weather days.

...Ellyn

My Running Program

Inspired by @laurenacarlton , I felt compelled to post this….

When my youngest child entered Grade One I had discovered that I had become an uncomfortable size 14 with poor eating habits not allowing myself to ever feel hungry – snacking whenever I wanted on whatever I wanted. I knew it was time for a change but I live 50 km from the nearest pool, gym or program and for my own peace of being, I still needed to be available to my children when they were home from school. I taught two days a week and decided to run on the three weekdays that I did not teach. I could barely breathe and could only run for short stints when I heard about John Stanton a confirmed couch potato who started the chain of stores and programs called The Running Room. Although he has inspired many marathon runners, his goal has never been to create them but to assist in helping people get off of the sofa. What follows is my program, that was inspired by John, that I have followed for 7 years now without injury or ever getting bored with running.

Week 1 – 1 minute run/1 minute walk x 10 - 3 days a week

Week 2 – 2 minute run/1 minute walk x 6 – 3 days a week

Week 3 – 3 minute run/1 minute walk x 5 – 3 days a week

Week 4 – 4 minute run/1 minute walk x 4 – 3 days a week

Week 5 – 5 minute run/1 minute walk x 3 – 3 days a week

At this point I discovered that I could and wanted to increase it to 4 days a week and I wanted to run in a 5km race and began to train for my first one.

Week 6 – 6 minute run/1 minute walk x 3 – 4 days a week

Week 7 – 8 minute run/1 minute walk x 2 – 4 days a week

Week 8 – 10 minute run/1 minute walk x 2 – 4 days a week

Week 9 – 20 minute non-stop run – 4 days a week

If this is too difficult a task to start with, one can start with an even better/slower program suited to them. If one needed to repeat a week – one should!

After 9 weeks, I was able to continue to add time and km and started to run 5 km in 25-30 minutes – the first race I ran was that spring - 5km in 25 minutes. My goal has always been to just treat my heart well and run for health – although I have run up to 21 km in one run, it is not my preference to do so. It took me a couple of years to drop in size to an 8 and for four years am a size 6-8 depending on the cut of the clothes.

…Ellyn

One of Lauren’s Blogs http://mommyisrocknroll.com/

A few words about John Stanton http://www.runningroom.com/hm/inside.php?id=3035

 

Shared Inspirations

After twenty-one years of teaching and on completion of my Masters in Educational Leadership, I made the choice to work at home. I have teenagers who are passionate about their pursuits and I knew that I would spread myself too thinly if I accepted a job that required me to work according to a schedule other than my family schedule. Not everyone is able to make this choice nor do they have the desire to and so I am grateful that I was able to honour my desire.

I am a passionate homemaker.

I coined this phrase and referred to myself as this long before I ever came across this blog Passionate Homemaking of which I actively follow and encourage you to follow as well. It is this “same idea” phenomenon that I address today.

When I graduated from University with my first degree and embarked on teaching for a living, I realized that I had moved seven times in two years. My cats were getting used to this and loved playing in and among the boxes. This is when I decided to write a children’s story about a little girl who was fussed and stressed about moving but through the story begins to envelop the move by observing and playing with her cat who, like my cats, plays in and among the packing boxes. I thought it was a brilliant and supportive story and I envisioned the entire photo essay. One day while book browsing with a friend, I rounded a shelf in a beloved independent wee bookstore, only to scream out loud. My friend rushed over to see what was wrong and all I could do was point at the picture book on the shelf. There before us was My Cat Likes to Hide in Boxes by Eve Sutton and Lynley Dodd. How was it possible that someone who lived on the other side of the world from me could have the same idea? Even though Sutton and Dodd’s book was slightly different from mine, it was too similar. I was absolutely and completely deflated so much so that I never did write that children’s book. However, being the granddaughter of an inventor who never saw all of his innovations brought to fruition, I did begin to realize that creative people around the world and over time, would continue to have parallel ideas that would fit each particular needs and that those inspirations might resonate within each one so deeply that they would need to express them in some manner - even if they were similar.

Have you had an inspiration that someone else has also dreamed?

…Ellyn

My Cat Likes to Hide in Boxes

Challenges...

My just turned fourteen year old daughter Jillian in grade eight, has challenges on this earth that are very different from mine. These challenges of hers cause me to struggle with how to guide her.

The moment that the doctor placed that baby on my body my arms enveloping her, I felt a frightening surge of utmost responsibility. It was now my job to see to it that she lived in a world where she could do anything that she wanted to do without external society-created barriers. A world where each individual was honoured for her or his gifts. This has been one of my challenges, especially living in what is sometimes considered “Red Necked” rural Alberta.

Jillian was a quiet and demure wee baby who never cried. She had this quiet little whimper that would emit when she needed something – which was rare. At one year of age, she sat on the entryway step beside the key hook and spent one hour taking each key off, investigating it, lining each one up neatly beside her until they were all off of the hook and then she proceeded to put them back on the hook one at a time. She did this silently over and over again for one hour until her dad walked in the door to disrupt the activity. I’ve always wondered how long that one year old would have sat there otherwise. At two years of age she could sing full and complete songs and just belt them out from way down deep inside of her. At three years of age, Jillian received an office in a box for a gift from my mom. We had a little desk in the dining room and she would sit at it for hours and hours, making notes, paper clipping notes together, cutting and filing and organizing. It was also at three that she began to have severe stomach aches and we started a long journey to see what the cause of these were. At age five, she sat with small Tupperware® containers and a collection of marbles and she played with these items on the living room floor, one day for five hours, in a solitary state, sorting and pouring and transferring from one container to another.

And still at this age even, she rarely cried. She was so composed all of the time. No highs, no lows.

We continued working through the tummy ache issue. We tried everything with conventional doctors, that one can imagine, and then we sought alternative methods. I took Jillian to an amazing Intuitive who is also a therapeutic massage therapist. What she told me was life altering. She felt that Jillian harboured emotions and that they sat in that wee tummy of hers, festering. This made more sense than anything we had heard. This composed wee girly of mine wasn’t releasing her emotions and she was choosing to be sedentary more than physical, using her mind much and not expressing outwardly. Following the Intuitive’s wise guidance and over her short life here, we have provided her with many opportunities to emote and to release, be it helping to connect her with people to teach her how to meditate, providing her with tools and opportunities to write but also mandating and modeling daily physical activity as a way to release.

Starting School - Jillian could hardly wait to get to school and when the bus arrived for her first day, she raced to it! This was a memorable outburst of emotion. She could already read but anticipated learning about the entire world and could barely contain herself. It didn’t happen in the way that she had hoped. She was boxed in. In September of her grade one year she wrote this,

“There once was a beautiful rare butterfly that wanted to fly. But someone captured it and caged it and didn’t let it out. And the butterfly was sad.”

My heart broke and I shared it with her teacher with the hope that we could find a way to work together to help my wee six year old. We both cried and the teacher was just plain shocked, having no idea that my girly was dying inside. I didn’t feel as if I was doing a very good job of paving a path for her to do anything that she wanted. We joined as a team and began to look for new learning opportunities for Jillian. I put her on a waiting list for private vocal lessons and she began playing the piano. Music is powerful and has played a huge role in her life. Through music, she has met three important mentors in her life for which I am grateful. Thanks to a wonderful grade three and four teacher, a few years soared by smoothly. In grade five Jillian had a classroom teacher who placed her up on a pedestal. He was in awe of her dedication to a task and allowed her to explore and take control of her own learning. Although I am grateful for so much of what he offered her, by putting her up on a pedestal, he also facilitated something that I didn’t like. Jillian began to behave as if she had something inside of her that was better than others. For as much as I tried to instill in her that she had just discovered some of her gifts early, that everyone has gifts and that those gifts are not subject to some sort of evaluation scale but work in harmony to bring about a healthy good balance to our world, she doubted me. After all she could think quickly on her toes and respond accordingly causing many adults around her to just back down and for kids to support her. Grade six was upon her where she met a teacher who had personality clashes with many students, fellow teachers and parents and made the decision to enter into power struggles with Jillian. This year Jillian gains control of the class and we deal with bullying issues with Jillian being the bully. With guidance and support from a wise friend and with my ability to reach out and research, Jillian and I begin working through this and by November, the bullying is no longer evident.

Junior High starts and she is in a room with her easy going, kind-hearted older brother and a teacher who has his own challenges in this world that collide with his ability to teach. Once again she begins to behave as if she knows “it” all and is better than others. Does she believe this? Not when we have heart to heart, one on one discussions. And so… we have many, and spend oodles of time together just the two of us. However her condescending behaviour towards the teacher continues.

Today, she is fourteen in grade eight, has a brilliant mind, beautiful voice and yet she continues to feel like a caged butterfly – I know this and know not what to do… and so this morning before school and inspired by one of my mentors, I challenged her – “Today”, I said. “I want you to look for the best in three people that you usually do not see the best in… feel how your life changes for the better.”

I am at a loss and feel that I should know what to do after all I am the mom - My invitation to you is to help guide me so that I can continue to guide her…

Thank you.

…Ellyn

My Toothless Butterfly Girly