Sunday, May 20, 2012

Working at Loving What Is...

I have spent a countless number of hours in our yard and it is not even near caught up. [Hmm… Caught up? Interesting choice of words.] Living rurally on a farmyard that I once was blindly devoted to, has its challenges and as I sit here at my desk with the timer on so that I only write for a wee bit, I am overwhelmed. May is an overwhelming month for me with our children’s spring and summer pursuits playing out, my desire to run and golf and this never ending yard work, not to mention the usual duties that subsist. There have been years where I have contemplated not putting a garden in and yet by July know that I would be sad not to have one. As I wonder why it is important to me to have everything looking perfect, I turn to the words of Byron Katie and am grateful for this distress. “When you realize that suffering and discomfort are the call to inquiry, you may actually begin to look forward to uncomfortable feelings.” Knowing that “happiness is a clear mind”, I am happy that I have taken time to just sit and write and with these musings, I have begun to smile warmly, breathe easier and will take my awaiting teens over to our neighbourhood greenhouse to pick out flowers for our yard, as well as book a tee time for all of us, later this afternoon. This is the perfection that I really desire.
~ Ellyn