Youth At Risk

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“Human beings are hardwired with the impulse to share ideas and the desire to know we’ve been heard. It’s all a part of our need for community. “ Jake Bohm

Theologian, Martin Marty, of the University of Chicago, observes that as crucial as the family is to preserving civilization, it is the tribe rather than the nuclear family, which ensures cultural survival. It is not surprising that the word “tribe” has been associated with online groups of common interest as Web 2.0 became the tribal web for personalized learning. However, if we look to our youth and the current challenges that they face, remembering that although we, their parents, are continuing to preserve civilization, our children still look to their tribe for cultural survival. They want to belong.

Following a presentation last night put on by a dedicated school counsellor at my teens’ high school, I once again feel weighed down with what our teens are facing and so I turn first, to my pen…

I was thrilled to see the room overflowing with parents, teachers and even a couple of grandparents and I am warmed to know that our kids have so much support from every corner of their community, to walk with them through these current challenges.

The lecture, which ended with open and rich dialogue, covered the local situation surrounding alcohol and other drug use, and the current pressures that are before our teens.  Not only did we hear about the kinds of drugs that are readily available, but also there were samples provided to take note of. Parents were offered behavioural signs to look for and ways to open up conversations about possible pressures. In the case where parents feel that their child is misusing or abusing, potential avenues were provided. An R.C.M.P. officer was present and offered much in the way of experience and knowledge to the Addictions Counsellor’s lecture. Needless to say, it was an extraordinary evening.

But now what?

If it is indeed the tribe that ensures this cultural survival, and I have chosen to raise my children within this culture, I need to positively support them, and their friends, right here and now.  

In Dr. Martin Brokenleg’s book, Reclaiming Youth at Risk, he proposes that as people search to make meaning out of their existence, they need to mend some of the broken circles that have been created and suggests that the first step in doing so is ensuring that a person feels that she or he belongs. It is sad for me to think that these young people in our community, already have broken circles within their beings, and yet, I feel it. Taking all of this into consideration, how do we assist them responsibly when the way that they feel that they belong is by partaking in drinking and/or drugs?

As a teacher and a parent, I have always felt that one of my responsibilities is to help children see what their gifts and talents are and to help them find ways for them to express and utilize these gifts and talents for good in this world. With my own children, I have offered them opportunities to take part in humanitarian, musical and physical endeavours in order for them to grow in confidence and know what they are good at. Generally speaking I believe that most parents strive to do just this for their children, and even though my children know their strengths, have passion and commitment for their undertakings, it is their tribe that they want to belong with.

Of course.

Please join me in this discussion that has existed over time and will continue to be present, as we work together to protect, guide and support our teens, facing the challenges that they are facing, and to be with their friends, sharing ideas, creating good and being in community.

~ Ellyn

Noticing Goodness

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This writing is overdue and yet essential, as I cannot seem to keep my thoughts from my time spent with an incredible group of teenagers. 

In September, my fifteen-year-old daughter phoned me to see if I could alter my schedule and accompany her and the rest of her classmates, on a Grade 10 camping trip. When a teenager asks an adult to be present with them, it is of utmost importance to do just that and so… without any hesitation, I cancelled two other engagements, packed a bag, put food together and joined them. 

I had a few reservations that did not involve camping in snow and cold, but I had heard that this particular group of teens had some strong characters that had been in a few predicaments. A couple of parents had warned me about a few specific kids, as well as situational details. What I discovered, however, contradicted all of these stories. There is no question that this group has some diverse and strong individuals, and… well… isn’t that a good thing?

I have always seen social misbehaviour in young children as a call out for action from a caring a positive adult, and wondered what could cause a teen to behave in a rude or violent manner, and I wondered how I would handle a teen, not my own, who called for my care and attention.

My initial anxiety was quashed immediately upon arriving at the adventure camp, when a young student walked off of the bus, with her arms spread up and out and her head looking towards the sun saying, “Everywhere I look, I see beauty.” It was then that I knew I needed to journal while I was with these young people.

Under the utmost capable supervision and mentorship of their Physical Education Coach, they unloaded the bus, set up tents and the rest of their camp, and headed off with two camp leaders to wall climb. I smiled warmly as they encouraged each other, including a few students who were unsure of taking part in the activity. This may sound like quite a rambling but here goes - One student commented on another student’s remark towards a fearful student, who did not want to try the climbing wall, reminding the initial student that said student was afraid of heights. “Oh ya.” was the remark from the first student. And the commenting was over, with no defending from the height fearful one. For those three days, the students continued to support and surround each other with acceptance and friendship and as a group of young people, I was in awe of how diverse each student was, and yet how supportive they were of each other. 

Their Phys. Ed. Coach is in tune with this age group and knew that they needed to come together as a collective at the start of the school year, learning that they indeed belong with each other, and she asked them to demonstrate their maturity and collective skills in order to work in harmony to become a valued community in and of themselves.

I am in admiration of each person on the camping trip, and will continue to offer my assistance as a supervisor for any future adventures together, remembering how important it is to notice goodness while honouring individualism.

~ Ellyn

Our Paleo Lifestyle Journey...

I have been studying nutrition for the better part of my life. My dad was a nutritionist kinda guy specializing in grains and breads. He was always concerned about the food we ate and I remember when I was in high school, and he phoned us from his lab to tell us not to ever put Nutrasweet® in our bodies. A controversial article had come across his desk and he could not wait until he got home from work to talk to us. He needed us to know right then. That was in the 1970’s and we, as a society, have discovered so much more about sugar and sugar substitutes since then. 

The year my husband and I were married, he discovered that he had diabetes. Not only did he have a genetic disposition to the condition, but his lifestyle also played a role. His body crashed and he went on insulin injections. We changed our eating habits to follow what dieticians then suggested, and within about half a year, Brent was off of insulin and controlling his blood sugar through diet and exercise. Over the years, his weight gain and loss was like a yo-yo and I began to suspect that some of the fabricated foods like margarine, Splenda® and low fat, light fare foods that we were eating, were not really food at all. It made sense to me that we should be eating food that was as natural as possible. If it came from a box or a can, I needed to know what each ingredient actually was.

We live on a farm with a garden and are able to access home grown meats, eggs and honey and for this I am grateful as it truly does make our life surrounding food, much easier. For sixteen years we have been eating mostly natural, 3^rd party certified organic, free range, grass fed, sun kissed, food. And yet, my husband is back on insulin and this summer found that he was using more and more. The other puzzling thing about how diabetes works in Brent’s system, has been is high blood sugar levels in the mornings. By playing with his diet, we found that if he cut out simple carbohydrates from noon on, that it reduced his next morning’s blood sugar level but not drastically enough to make a difference throughout the day or as the days became weeks.

Enter some Paleo Creatures.

My cousin and her husband enveloped the Paleo lifestyle a couple of years ago and have not only dropped weight but also feel fabulous. Eight months ago, I began studying this phenomenon that seemed to be gaining popularity. It took me those eight months to decide whether I felt this was the right direction for everyone in our family or not. I needed us all to buy into this way of life. As I delved into the meat of living paleo, I struggled with finding answers to why there were some foods of the earth, that were not to be eaten. Using The Paleo Diet for the Athlete, by Loren Cordain, reading numerous articles for and against this way of eating, and by asking questions, I was settled with and understood more about high and low glycemic indexed foods and was ready to try it. I promised each family member that we would only try it for one month and then make a formal decision based on that month’s success or lack of, as to whether we would attempt to fully embrace this manner or not.

One month saw amazing results that we did not expect to see in such a short time.

Brent Age: 49 Steadily dropped weight each week, 8 lbs. during the first week, 5 during the next week and 10 over the next 2 weeks. He cut his insulin injections by half most meals and his morning blood sugar levels were normal.

Jillian Age: 15 Lost 7 pounds (even though she did not need to and this was most definitely not a goal nor a focus.) We’ve known since Jillian was 5 that she is lactose intolerant and, as a family gave up most dairy when she was 7. We have played around with raw milk, cheese etc. but on the Paleo Lifestyle, gave it up entirely for the month of September. Jillian remarked at how she has been living with a continual stomach ache most of her life but did not have one that month unless she chose to stray from the diet and ate something from a friend.

Max Age: 17 Lost 7 pounds and again was not necessary nor a focus. He has had the most challenging time sticking with it as he likes to go out for lunch with friends occasionally and the choice is usually a burger. At home, however, he has stuck to the regime and I, as mom, refuse to be a food bully.

The greatest results by far that will help us stick with this way of being, is that we are all so thrilled for Brent, and none of us are actually hungry. That doesn’t mean that we don’t miss some foods, we just don’t actually crave them.

It has only been one month, but that one-month, has demonstrated extraordinary results. Check back next month and I’ll report on how things are progressing for us as Paleos.

~ Ellyn

A Thank You...

This week, my girly headed to a new school. Actually, it is high school that is now upon her. She was filled with excitement, anticipation and a little bit of nervousness for a new and wonderful time in her life and I hope that her dreams are fulfilled.

Because we live on a farm in a rural area that does not house a senior high, my children are bussed to another town for high school. Not too many years ago, we almost didn’t have an elementary or junior high school.

Sixteen years ago, when we moved to my husband’s family farm, I was expecting Jillian and received a call from a principal from a neighbouring school, informing me that my community school was about to be closed due to decreasing enrolment. He asked me if I was interested in coming to a meeting about it. My son Max was a preschooler and with a baby on the way, I could no more imagine school for them than much else that has come their way, but I chose to go to the meeting.

With a lot of hard work, determination and perseverance, the school closed for one day and was reopened the next, through another district. Each year, no one knew whether it would stay open or not but we chose, as a community, to offer as much support financially and otherwise to save and keep it.  I am in awe that we have created an amazing little country, family oriented school.

I had no idea that my children, now in grade 10 and 12, would be able to attend their local community school for the entire time that they needed to, but it happened and I am grateful.

Now, it is time to move in a different circle and support a new school as much as I supported my children’s early years school.

Thank you Mother Teresa School and the community of Halkirk for all of these fabulous years!

Mother Teresa School in Halkirk

We're Here Because...

“We’re here because we’re here, because we’re here because we’re here…” I first heard these words sung, by my brother, when I was a young girl.  Any of you who came up through the Boy Scout movement, will recognize this questionable war chant as well. For the better part of my life, I have allowed those words to resonate throughout my being and as I think about my life compared to that of a 50-year-old woman else where in the world, I hear them again.

Am I appreciating the resources we have and sharing my prosperity? As I think about Marianne Elliott's blogpost this past weekend, What's Ours is Ours, I am struggling to answer this immediate enquiry, which has me puzzled and dismayed.

I just finished reading A ThousandSplendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini. Each time I read an astonishing story about a people who endure so much strife and yet continue to have so much to give, I begin to question my own subsistence in this abundant and lovely life of mine.

I have no answers today, only questions and so I will step into just being here and see what unfolds. How about you? Do you appreciate and share your prosperity? 

~ Ellyn

A thank you...

If you listen closely, you can hear the trees speaking to you. At least this is what my minister Barbara has told me. She experiences it in a way that she understands. I don’t hear their voices, with my ears, but I am drawn to them, write about them and have begun to paint them.

The largest tree in our yard is a poplar that was continually mowed over by my husband’s father. Finally, he decided that it wanted to grow there and he let it be. For over ten years now, it has been one of the trees that houses my son’s and daughter’s largest tree house. The other evening, when my dad and his lady friend were walking outdoors, the tree played the most beautiful music for her. These occurrences make me smile warmly and I am grateful that she told me of its singing.  

Last evening I attended a presentation whereby I was introduced to Energy Medicine. I have worked a little bit with my own body energy but only in a very basic manner, using affirmations/prayers to focus on what is important in my life in any given moment, deep and conscious breathing so as to turn my energy from a low and slow way of being to a higher and faster way, and reading my body energy to understand more fully what is ailing me. However, Donna Eden’s readily and easily comprehensible methods and exercises were welcoming and enlightening. “EnergyMedicine awakens energies that bring vitality, joy, and enthusiasm to your life -- and greater health to your body, mind, and spirit! Balancing your energies balances your chemistry and hormones, helps you feel better, and helps you think better. And it empowers you to adapt and even flourish.” Donna Eden

Trees singing, energy medicine, what does this all mean to me right now and why am I connecting the two?

Quantum physics has revealed that everything is composed of energy and that all apparent realities are simply created by thoughts. “Like an artist painting on canvas, we choose our [colours] and images and paint the life in front of us with our thoughts and beliefs.” Lisa Lewis

Aha! Like an artist painting on canvas! 

I am a writer and when I haven’t written in a while, my throat gets sore and scratchy and I need to take my pen in hand and communicate, sometimes to others, but mostly to myself. I am trying to remember if it has been two weeks or three weeks since I wrote last. That is too long for me and so as I finished watering and pruning trees this morning, I grounded myself, breathed easily, smiled warmly and sat down to write. Thank you to the people who created the presentation and discussion last night and to the trees for encouraging me back into this writing space of mine. I am grateful for your acceptance and wisdom, because as I sit here honouring you, my throat is clear and I am ready to paint poplars, and continue healing me…
~ Ellyn

Monarchs

The butterfly is a powerful symbol, clearly representing the process of transformation. An emblem of change, joy and colour. 

We bought my husband’s family farm, sixteen years ago and I have always been in awe of the variety and amount of butterflies that cohabitate with us. However, this is the first year that we have seen and have been inundated with monarch butterflies. We’ve had painted ladies, swallowtails, little blues and other orange and black sorts but never monarchs. I was enthralled at how many showed up last week and amazed at their size as well as their boldness. They will even take on birds.

It seems plausible that due to tornadoes south of us, and the high winds that we have experienced, that they may have been thrown off course. The problem that now befalls them is that I have never seen milkweed growing here and my friend Carrie declares that because of this, we may never see them here again. These majestic butterflies only lay their eggs on milkweed because of the plant’s poison that is emitted, which does not harm the monarch, but does discourage other animals from rummaging around it. Consequently, the monarch’s eggs stay safe.

When an animal reveals itself to me in such a profound way, I turn to author Ted Andrews, and his book, AnimalSpeak. He proclaims that when a butterfly shows up, one should make note of the issues that are present and at what stage of change one is at in regard to them. He goes on to say that butterflies remind us not to take life so seriously as they appear to dance from flower to flower.

And so I wonder…

Change is inevitable, I know this, but it does not have to be traumatic and can occur sweetly and gently like the touch of a butterfly. After all, “the butterfly counts not months but moments, and has time enough.” (Rabindranath Tagore)

~ Ellyn