Forgiveness

“Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.” Mark Twain

I’ve never thought of myself as someone who holds a grudge and yet I am easily frustrated by the behaviours of a few particular people who are close to me and so I must be holding on to some sort of bitterness surrounding my relationship with them.

It can be challenging at times, for me to see the lesson that comes when someone does or says something that irks me. Over time, I find that I harbour those ill feelings and am weighed down so much so, that I exist within a sea of negativity. Negativity causes my throat to tighten, my brow to furl, my skin to dry out and a restless sleep persists. Noting that I am feeling this way, I try to find a quiet time to look at the lesson that sits there presenting itself to me and waiting for me to learn it. What is needed then, is for me to acknowledge the lesson, release the negative feelings through breathing deeply and thank that other person for teaching me. When I do this, a warm smile ensues and I feel much lighter and happier that I am actually brought to tears of forgiveness for him and for me. It is a humble and yet powerful feeling.

Acknowledging the lesson can be difficult and more often than not, I find that the lesson is simply this: The other person has taught me how to not speak to someone. He may say something that I know is misguided, possibly an assumption, and is hurtful, reminding me that I would never want those words to come out of my mouth. Recognizing this, I find it easier to release the constricted feelings through breathing, meditation or prayer, exercise and sometimes it takes all of these actions and needs to be repeated.  

You see, what I have discovered is that forgiveness is a verb, a deliberate and conscious set of actions. Forgiveness then, “lightens the heart and liberates the soul.” Debbie Ford

~ Ellyn

Love of Self...

There was a time when my life was all about me and I am grateful to have had that time. As a 50+-year-old parent of two teens who are actively involved in sport and music, I struggle with using family resources for myself and began to wonder if this is a challenge for many moms. Having a satisfying young adult life has helped me to put my wants to the side and provide for my children’s wants, and yet exercise, nutrition and soul care are important to me. In order to honour these priorities, I have had to create a way to incorporate self-care on a small budget. 

1.         Meditate: Meditation can be done anywhere and I utilize snippets of time to consciously breathe deeply and call for what I need, or let go of what it is that I need to release. Instead of a lovely, calming and quiet studio, sometimes this occurs at a basketball tournament in a public washroom stall.

2.         Exercise: I have been running for approximately nine years, and all I really require is a good pair of runners and socks. Over the years, my drywick and warm layers with reflectors on them have been gifted to me. Although my running watch is as old as my running years, my shoes have been replaced a few times and I just replaced some nine year old Thorlos®.

3.         Nutrition: This is actually our greatest challenge. Living on a farm, we are able to grow much of our own food but storing it is another problem.  Produce is expensive here and yet this is part of my families’ mandate; to have the majority of our food, be food that grows. A large amount of our families’ extra resources goes toward eating healthily and my heart cries out to those who are faced with buying inexpensive faux food.

4.         Entertainment: A couple of times a year, Brent and I head to the city for dinner and a movie and in the spring, we purchase a local golf club family membership and enjoy golfing with each other. Many years ago now, I had a little nest egg that allowed me to gift Brent a golf car. We utilize the library weekly, borrowing movies at a cost of $20/year. You may want to check into your local library and the resources it has, as some memberships are free.

5.         Massages, Pedicures, Chakra Balances, Energy Work, Fitness/Health Classes are extras that I have loved. Presently, I use our own fitness equipment, look for free classes online and practise other self-care treats with each other. 

All of this adds up to a whole lotta free…

To the follower who asked this question of me, I thank you, and invite others to share what it is that you do to honour self-care on a small budget.

Brent with the Golf Car I gifted him a few years ago.

~ Ellyn

On Health...

Healing is a matter of time, but it is 

sometimes also a matter of opportunity. 

~ Hippocrates

I learned to meditate when I was 18 years old and it saved my soul during my University years. For some reason I fell out of the practise during my 30’s but as my life unravelled in my early forties, I once again began to meditate. At age 51, I meditate at least four times a day and it has become such a natural way for me to live. Some of the meditations I do are simple and brief like the one I do in the shower every morning, while others are guided and specific. I meditate before I make an important decision and I meditate after I exercise, during my cool down. 

The month of January is always a time for me to reflect on my present health and set goals for the new year. Besides becoming Paleo creatures a few months ago and pulling out our juicer from storage, this year the big change I made surrounded meditation. After my daily run and strength training, I have been engaged in a specific health meditation with Marianne Williamson from her Meditations for a Miraculous Life. Her voice is soothing and comforting and I never tire of hearing her speak. I love this particular meditation and have noticed my body loves it too.

And so… as I offer out my thanks for the miracle of my body and send prayerful light to different areas of it, I too know that I am “literally boosting my immune system.”

I have had wonderfully rich discussions with many about the power of meditation and invite you to share your thoughts and/or practises with me here.

~ Ellyn