Summer Job Guy

My 21 year old son Max has a cool summer job. He’s working as the Recreation “Guy” at our small town seniors’ lodge and he loves it.

A couple of weeks after he started, Mother’s Day was upon us and a Tea at the lodge ensued. He dressed up in his finery complete with a bow tie and just happened to be standing by the entryway when an elderly cousin of ours, walked into the building, towards the gathering area and assumed Max was there to seat her. He immediately held out his arm and lead her to her table, which caused the other ladies to assume that he was there to do that for them too. And so, of course, he did. One by one he escorted each lady to their table and then helped serve tea. There are about 58 ladies in our local lodge and they were delighted. But more importantly, so was he. The Monday following that event, he mentioned to his supervisor that he really wanted to do something special for the fellas that lived in the lodge, for Father’s Day. They started to brainstorm when his supervisor mentioned that maybe they should take the guys to the local pub for beer and wings. Max was thrilled and added that he would find some men in town that he knew of that had vintage vehicles to come up to the lodge, pick up the gentlemen and then head to the pub. I was in awe and Max came home so satisfied that the few men that resided there, I think 14, enjoyed their celebration.

Fast forward to yesterday, July 4th, a male resident died. Overnight. In his sleep. Max came home from work last night in such a funk and I knew something was wrong. It’s hard to make relationships and then lose them so quickly and Max is in an industry where he is going to experience this. He began to tell me about this man… 
Clifford was quiet. He mostly operated in a solitary manner. He didn’t have a television, nor radio, but he did read. He didn’t take part in any of the activities that were offered at the lodge. However, after the Mother’s Day Tea, Max noticed that Clifford had yet to receive any visitors and he asked him if he had any children. Clifford said that he had a son but that his son was very busy and would probably not be around on Father’s Day weekend. When the plans were in place for the Father’s Day event, Max encouraged Clifford to join a good friend of ours in an old fixed-up 1948 Fargo truck and to head to the pub for wings. Clifford came out of his shell and talked and talked and talked. He ordered a beer and enjoyed a few wings but most of all he loved the old truck and the camaraderie.

I hope that Max knows just how important this summer job is. 

I do.

~ Ellyn

I Don't Have a Bucket List

I do not have a bucket list.

Not that I don’t love stepping into an adventure, trying new experiences and travelling. I just don’t feel the need to create a bucket list.

I remember a couple of years ago when I heard about two teens, who had created a summer bucket list, and I was saddened to think that at 17, they felt the need to accomplish things before they moved away for college. I guess I was judging them against my 17 year old self who was most definitely scared, but also overly excited about starting a new life rather than checking things off.  

But is that what a bucket list is?

In 2007 when Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson starred in the movie with the same name, I remember enjoying the film, but knew then, that I couldn’t imagine creating a bucket list. Two of the questions the movie asked viewers however, did inspire me.

“Have you found joy in life? Has your life brought joy to others?” (Morgan Freeman as Carter Chambers)

Presently, and on a temporary contract, I am teaching 5 & 6 year olds in Kindergarten. I had no idea that I would be spending my days with these little marvels once again. And so it is easy for me to be thankful each morning when I wake up, easy for me to see the magnificence in each one of those Kindies eyes, easy for me to stop talking, smile warmly and just listen.

I see... hear... feel... joy in life.  

My husband and I have created a veritable paradise in our own home and yard. A place where we love to sit and just be. And as I plant trees that I may never see mature, I know that someday someone else will enjoy this space that we have loved. “What does a snail have to do to reincarnate? Create the perfect trail of slime?” (Jack Nicholson as Edward Cole)

Do I plan for the future? Of course, but I practise living right now.

Do you have a bucket list? If so, I’d love to hear from you so that I can fully understand this notion.

Thank you.

~ Ellyn

I have a friend...

I have a friend…

We have spent so much time together that we can finish each other’s sentences, move easily from one topic to another, talk on any subject and I even know what she is likely to order in any given restaurant.

We differ on political matters, organized religious matters and some social justice issues and yet I feel that our souls are, in some way, “created from the same block of clay”. (Albom, 2013)

There are very few things that I wouldn’t do for this friend and I can only hope that you too, have a friend.

Thank you my friend.

~ Ellyn

The First Agreement

Let my word be impeccable. The word that I write, think and utter. About myself and others.

I’m rereading The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz and I am once again struck with awe. It has been many years since I first read this little, albeit powerful, book and is the only book that I know of, that my husband has read twice. I am encouraged by my daughter asking me about it. Encouraged because, she is in her first year of University, studying Commerce and when she told me that the Dean mentioned that it is his favourite book, I was taken aback but warmed by the notion. Encouraged to know that someone who is business minded is also honouring his spiritual side. Encouraged to know that my daughter will continue to surround herself with people who inspire her to use her gifts and talents for good in this world.

And so, today, when the little book called to me, I once again am making a commitment to use the power of my word in gratefulness, for truth and for love.

“Today is a good day for a good day.” - Savannah Simon

~ Ellyn

A Privileged Life...

I live a privileged life.

I have spent the majority of my life, in some sort of capacity, with children. Gratefully.

For me, yesterday was just another Saturday in just another gymnasium, spent enjoying young basketball players immersed in a passion for sport. As it has been over the years, I observed parents enjoying that their children have this opportunity for camaraderie mixed with competition. Some parents see their children as little selves and want desperately for those little beings to be the best and to entertain them, while others just let everything go and let their children experience. I am not saying that one way is right or wrong, but that it just is.

And then, like it is every so often, I get to notice grace. I was privileged to be on the outskirts of a dialogue between a father coach and a child player, whereby the father made certain that the child was playing her game for herself, and that it was just that. Her game, not his, and that she could take this game with her team anyway that she chose. He wanted to be sure in a very quick few seconds that she was not playing to please him. A lovely moment in time.

I live a privileged life.

~ Ellyn

Courage

It is only on the rarest of occasions that I lose sleep at night, the thoughts that infrequently waking me being those surrounding the well being of a child, even if that child is now 6’5” and 170 lbs.

Last night, a friend of mine told me that her well-educated, accomplished and highly employable son, quit his job. He absolutely could not stand going to his place of employment every day. Although his work filled a void for a time, offering him the opportunity to purchase assets and feel financially settled, he hasn’t enjoyed it for a long time.

Our accrued assets and financial freedom only lasts so long before one’s gut aches, or physical and emotional conditions associated with the deep unhappiness that one actually feels inside, begin to manifest. I do not think that the building up of assets is a bad thing, nor do I believe that we should undervalue our material life but we have to be careful not to overvalue it.

Last night I woke up because I was thinking about him and how I would like him to know how courageous I think he is. I feel in the same way that Jean Stapleton’s character, Birdie Conrad, from You’ve Got Mail espouses; that he is “daring to imagine something else” for him and although it may be frightening, it is also freeing. My thoughts envelop this brave young man knowing that even if he chooses to enter back into the profession that he has prepared for, he will go into it in a much more settled and healthy manner.

~ Ellyn

Perfection Here & Now

“Every day was a perfect day and every night was peaceful.” E.B. White’s lovely words from Charlotte’s Web warmly emerge from my being, today and often during the summer.

Ever since my son Max began working through his summers, I have found it difficult to plan a family summer vacation, and I am not interested in traveling anywhere without my children, yet. The first two summers that he worked away from home and for a wage, he was able to leave work one week before school started. Unfortunately, we didn’t know that until then. We did take some last minute, very cool teen inspired eco trips, highlinging and ziplining, camping and always throwing in a stage production, or two. 

This morning, as every morning, and while enjoying my beyond fair trade, dark roast, full-bodied and richly aromatic Thai coffee, on the verandah, it occurred to me that my favourite summer resort is right here in our yard. With a well-used fire pit for evening relaxation and pleasure, surrounded by a variety of mature trees that Brent’s mom and dad established, a hot tub for cooler evenings underneath the stars, scattered and wild perennial beds that fill my life with mostly green, the colour with which I am so drawn to, an outside area where I can always find a spot free of the elements, Max’s zipline and Jillian’s basketball court and with my babies that are not so much babies anymore, coming and going…

 

My summer life is complete.

As Jillian and I spend time touring around to different Universities, and I am aware of the reality that she too will be gone from here soon, I find myself spilling over in gratefulness for the life that we have created. Do I want to keep creating this as my favourite summer resort? Maybe, but maybe not. What I do know is that it is perfect right here, right now.

I invite you to share with me, where it is that you find yourself during the summer? Where is your favourite summer resort?

~ Ellyn

A walk back to the hot tub where
perennials are on top of perennials
and softly clean soil meets green...