I Say Stuff...

I grew up in a household that was cautious around my maternal grandmother. She was a domineering force who poked and prodded and we had to be careful not to say certain things in front of her for fear of her going into a tirade and causing my mom even more grief than she already did.

When you are taught to omit details in order to keep peace, and I know that peace is truly what a being wants, you simply learn to omit details in order to keep peace. I wasn’t very good at this because… well… I say stuff.

As a child, I would emote and blurt out whenever the impetus to do so arose. When grandma was about and I opened my mouth, I remember watching my mother grit her teeth and hold her breath while my brother just frowned at me. This doesn’t mean that I would use curse words, or say something disrespectful, it was more like, “Hey mom, remember when I was trying on grandma’s glasses and you said it scared you? ” Or “We don’t like the television shows that you watch, grandma.” Sounds pretty harmless, and yet I remember the kind of wrath that followed these statements.

If the intent is honourable and not filled with malice, being open and saying what one wants to say, is healthy and makes for much richer relationships, and it was something I had to relearn after years of trying to stifle what I wasn’t supposed to say.

Now, I say stuff.

~ Ellyn

More Peaceful Parenting

On a very early morning a couple of days ago and while I was in the dentist’s chair, I listened to the two professionals working on my mouth talk about a little girl, aged 3, who refused to take part in her dance lesson the previous day, and instead wanted to sit with her mom and cry. I was immediately transported back to my younger mommy days where I learned to commiserate with my 2-year-old son.

Max was a volatile 2-year-old and when he flipped, I flipped. I’m thankful that it didn’t last long because I am still frustrated with myself that I too flipped. He was speech delayed and we struggled to understand what he was trying to say to us. For a brief period, I used Time-Out but I discovered that it was only fixing the situation in the moment, not really addressing his volatile behaviour nor teaching him how to honour and deal with his emotions. I know that this method is used in love but even when Time-Out is used briefly with dialogue following, I feel that it is an undesirable form of punishment that fails to teach problem solving, invites submission and creates pleasers.

One evening my husband Brent, quite by chance, picked up our 2-year-old emoting fella and just held onto him, with love, whispering and kissing his head. Max struggled to go but Brent told him it was Time-In time and Max just relaxed and began to cry. From that point forward, we commiserated with Max, saying things like, “You must be so frustrated. Sit with me until we can figure out what you need.” Max became a puddle in our arms during these very few times that needed to occur and what seemed like instantaneously, we no longer had a volatile child but a little boy who wanted us to know what he was feeling, asking for our help.

At 17, Max is certainly in touch with his feelings, honouring them and emoting constructively and positively. Would he have been otherwise? Possibly, but this way of being with Max, that Brent created, was a change for the better that I am utmost grateful for and as a mom of a teen who will be leaving home soon, I know which encounters are important and which ones I can let go of.

What I wish I could have offered to the two professionals, talking about the little girly at dance, was that that little girl will not be 3 for long. I want them to cherish each moment and if she is not ready to dance with a group, hold her gently, wrap her up and let her dance at home.

~ Ellyn

A Perfect Wednesday... No Words Necessary.

RSS Feeds

In 2013, I find that I am inundated with reading, which, for the most part, is a good thing. There is so much information at my fingertips, I feel the need to practise discerning what writings are truly the words that are essential for me to sink myself into, in any given moment. And… I am grateful for my RSS feed.

A Rich Site Summary, which is often dubbed Really Simple Syndication, allows a person to easily follow a weblog (Blog), news feed or other site, by issuing alerts or feeds of newly published items to a reader location. In this way, I can readily go to my reader service to see what’s new, choose to read a portion, or not, and link to the actual site if I want to read more.  

RSS is not new, with conflicting information about when it was actually created. What I do know is that RSS 0.90, developed by Netscape, has been around since 1999 and, that I have been using this service for a very long time and only recently, was asked how to efficiently follow many blogs.

The reader service that I use is Google® but there are many others. You need to look for the RSS symbol when you are on a blog of note, click on that icon, choose a reader service and follow the steps so as to continue following that blog. 

I hope that this brief message helps the person that was asking and if you have any questions or comments please share them here.

And of course, you can always follow this blog if you so choose.

~ Ellyn

Enraptured...

 It is said that “the shortest path between two points is a straight line but what happens if that path gets blocked? When sediment impedes the flow of a river, it redirects, zigging and zagging instead of following a straight course. But like to the crow like meandering is to the water’s most efficient route, source to outlet, nature finds a detour.” Jake Bohm

Yesterday while a twitter friend and I were zigging and zagging about in our own little corners of the world, a straight line was presented. To connect us. I am in awe with this wonderful Universe that we live in, and bow in gratefulness.

I’ve quoted Jake Bohm before, the young character that David Mazous plays in Fox Network’s television show, Touch, but maybe I should give credit to creator and writer, Tim Kring. The way in which every instalment unfolds is not only tightly woven within each episode, but to the entire story and is obviously very important work for those involved and for those whose lives it touches, like mine.

These are the connections in life that hold me captive and cause me to be truly enraptured by life, hence the name of this blog. That one person in this world would be studying Mother Teresa and her profound life, and that at that moment another person would see a comment about Mother Teresa and would comment back, and very briefly and yet powerfully be bonded in goodness offering harmony, peace and warmth to each other, restores my faith that “if two points are destined to Touch, the Universe will always make it happen.”

Thank you Vicki for Anyway and for being with me yesterday, for your words… your vulnerability… your honesty… 

~ Ellyn

For the Love of Coconut Oil...

This morning's writing was going to be about edible oils but instead, has become solely about coconut oil. Besides the fat found in the food we eat in some vegetables, eggs, nuts and meat, there are only three fats that we have retained and use in our kitchen. One of those is coconut oil, and although the smell of coconut in the past has repulsed me, I have come to love the heavenly scent of good quality cold-pressed virgin organic coconut oil, and can be found with my nose in the jar just breathing it in.

Our bodies metabolize each fatty acid differently and being that coconut oil is a medium-chain fatty acid, the liver and the gall bladder do not need to digest and emulsify it, causing us to have more energy, an increased metabolic rate and better circulation. If you’ve had your gall bladder removed, this is indeed the fat for you.

There are many uses for coconut oil including applying it to the skin and hair. However, I have found that using sulphate-free real soap (yet another story) on the outside and hydrating and healing my body from the inside, is a better way.  

Aurora Geib, who writes for Natural News, adds that if you have been on a low fat diet the possible side effect you might have from coconut oil is diarrhoea, but eventually proper bowel function will prevail. She suggests that each adult should consume about 3 ½ tablespoons a day and although, in our home, we are not each consuming that much, it has become the primary oil that we use. Coconut oil can be eaten right out of the jar and being that it is heat stable, can be cooked using high temperatures.

There are many coconut oils currently on the market and I certainly have my favourite. A friend of mine calls it coconut butter with the hope that one of her children will embrace it like the others have. Do you have a story about coconut oil? I would love to hear it!

~ Ellyn

We Are Paleo Creatures - 2

We are paleo creatures and have been since September 1, 2012. I began researching the paleo lifestyle, which was gaining popularity, in February of that year, mainly because my husband was increasing his insulin injections, was feeling sluggish and had fallen into a slump regarding his health. I had asked my teens to jump on board with us for the month of September and that if the way of eating didn’t suit them or us, we would make another decision. Quite surprisingly, Brent cut his insulin in half, steadily lost a little weight and we were all feeling like we had more energy. By November, our active and athletic teens felt that their lunches weren’t satisfying enough and we added wraps to theirs but did not add any other grain products to their diet and continued with a complete paleo lifestyle for Brent and me.

Enter December.

With parties and gatherings, grandma’s fudge and Christmas cake, we fell off the paleo wagon. Ugh! Any bugs that were in the air that landed on us, took hold and 3 of us battled colds and sore throats and yet we continued to choose mouth-tasting foods with gluten and sugar in them over good-for-our-body foods.

The thing is, we knew that we were feeling lousy and yet we continued to choose these old favourites. I know that we are what we eat and that we were not appreciating the miraculous way in which our immune system works, which relies on the lining of the intestinal tract to help it work properly.

It will take some time to rid our bodies once again of the toxins that we willingly popped into them, but we will do it! The article about our complex immune system that I want to share with you today comes from one of my favourite blogs, The Paleo Diet Lifestyle as well as one of our favourite mealtime recipes from Irey's Kitchen in Australia.

Enjoy and stay tuned for follow-up posts.

~ Ellyn