Sunshine Goodness...

The windows of my soul I throw
Wide open to the sun.
~John Greenleaf Whittier

Following several days of overcast cloudy weather, snow and wind, today the sun peeked through for a few hours and I was reminded of how easy it is for me to be happy when the sun shines. On cloudy grey days, I have to work at it.

My husband has been preoccupied at work with the grief that winter weather can deliver him but gratefully, my son was home today on his semester break, and he was able to plough snow so that I could drive out of the yard, head to town and get some groceries. We store enough meat for the year, eat very few foods stored in cans, jars or boxes, of which I buy in bulk from an organic supplier and so I just pick up fruits and vegetables each week. I did stop in the health food store for some almond flour and vitamin D3 drops and the owner remarked on how beautiful it was outside. I smiled warmly thinking about how I too rely on that beautiful sun to help me breathe easier. I’m not sure if I have always been this way or not, but I do know that ever since I started staying home to write, I have come to cherish every drop of sunshine that peers through these great windows beside my desk and that today, it shines, and I move about easily and gracefully in thankfulness.

~ Ellyn

Our Future is in Good Hands...

A Brief Post...

My posts vary in length. Some writings need more elaborating, not for the intended reader, but for me, the writer.

I write for me. Not for any particular audience, a corporation who has asked me to endorse a product, or for a set number of people, but because I am compelled to sit here and write.

I have written for others, for their deadlines, and am grateful that presently, I can set my own deadlines. Deadlines are one way of not getting sidetracked but most importantly, for me, they are ways for me to honour my writing and let people who are close to me know that I am at work.

When I first stayed home to write, I struggled with stating what it was that I was doing at home all day. It seemed to me that others thought that if I wasn’t leaving the house to work, I wasn’t working. But maybe that was just me, making that assumption because I was struggling with justifying what I did.

Fast forward a few years and I see the volumes of writings before me and I know how healthy these words on the paper have assisted me in being. Will any of it ever be published in the form that I desire it to be?

Yes, why of course.

~ Ellyn

I Say Stuff...

I grew up in a household that was cautious around my maternal grandmother. She was a domineering force who poked and prodded and we had to be careful not to say certain things in front of her for fear of her going into a tirade and causing my mom even more grief than she already did.

When you are taught to omit details in order to keep peace, and I know that peace is truly what a being wants, you simply learn to omit details in order to keep peace. I wasn’t very good at this because… well… I say stuff.

As a child, I would emote and blurt out whenever the impetus to do so arose. When grandma was about and I opened my mouth, I remember watching my mother grit her teeth and hold her breath while my brother just frowned at me. This doesn’t mean that I would use curse words, or say something disrespectful, it was more like, “Hey mom, remember when I was trying on grandma’s glasses and you said it scared you? ” Or “We don’t like the television shows that you watch, grandma.” Sounds pretty harmless, and yet I remember the kind of wrath that followed these statements.

If the intent is honourable and not filled with malice, being open and saying what one wants to say, is healthy and makes for much richer relationships, and it was something I had to relearn after years of trying to stifle what I wasn’t supposed to say.

Now, I say stuff.

~ Ellyn

More Peaceful Parenting

On a very early morning a couple of days ago and while I was in the dentist’s chair, I listened to the two professionals working on my mouth talk about a little girl, aged 3, who refused to take part in her dance lesson the previous day, and instead wanted to sit with her mom and cry. I was immediately transported back to my younger mommy days where I learned to commiserate with my 2-year-old son.

Max was a volatile 2-year-old and when he flipped, I flipped. I’m thankful that it didn’t last long because I am still frustrated with myself that I too flipped. He was speech delayed and we struggled to understand what he was trying to say to us. For a brief period, I used Time-Out but I discovered that it was only fixing the situation in the moment, not really addressing his volatile behaviour nor teaching him how to honour and deal with his emotions. I know that this method is used in love but even when Time-Out is used briefly with dialogue following, I feel that it is an undesirable form of punishment that fails to teach problem solving, invites submission and creates pleasers.

One evening my husband Brent, quite by chance, picked up our 2-year-old emoting fella and just held onto him, with love, whispering and kissing his head. Max struggled to go but Brent told him it was Time-In time and Max just relaxed and began to cry. From that point forward, we commiserated with Max, saying things like, “You must be so frustrated. Sit with me until we can figure out what you need.” Max became a puddle in our arms during these very few times that needed to occur and what seemed like instantaneously, we no longer had a volatile child but a little boy who wanted us to know what he was feeling, asking for our help.

At 17, Max is certainly in touch with his feelings, honouring them and emoting constructively and positively. Would he have been otherwise? Possibly, but this way of being with Max, that Brent created, was a change for the better that I am utmost grateful for and as a mom of a teen who will be leaving home soon, I know which encounters are important and which ones I can let go of.

What I wish I could have offered to the two professionals, talking about the little girly at dance, was that that little girl will not be 3 for long. I want them to cherish each moment and if she is not ready to dance with a group, hold her gently, wrap her up and let her dance at home.

~ Ellyn

A Perfect Wednesday... No Words Necessary.

RSS Feeds

In 2013, I find that I am inundated with reading, which, for the most part, is a good thing. There is so much information at my fingertips, I feel the need to practise discerning what writings are truly the words that are essential for me to sink myself into, in any given moment. And… I am grateful for my RSS feed.

A Rich Site Summary, which is often dubbed Really Simple Syndication, allows a person to easily follow a weblog (Blog), news feed or other site, by issuing alerts or feeds of newly published items to a reader location. In this way, I can readily go to my reader service to see what’s new, choose to read a portion, or not, and link to the actual site if I want to read more.  

RSS is not new, with conflicting information about when it was actually created. What I do know is that RSS 0.90, developed by Netscape, has been around since 1999 and, that I have been using this service for a very long time and only recently, was asked how to efficiently follow many blogs.

The reader service that I use is Google® but there are many others. You need to look for the RSS symbol when you are on a blog of note, click on that icon, choose a reader service and follow the steps so as to continue following that blog. 

I hope that this brief message helps the person that was asking and if you have any questions or comments please share them here.

And of course, you can always follow this blog if you so choose.

~ Ellyn